7 Steps to Embrace Connection, Truth, and Community This Holiday Season"
Honoring the Land, Navigating Family Dynamics, and Taking Action for Liberation
Introduction: Land Acknowledgment
I want to begin by acknowledging the land on which I live and work today, originally stewarded by the Muscogee (Creek) people before it was stolen through colonization. This land, like so many across Turtle Island, holds the weight of history—the vibrant cultures and lives that existed here long before settler colonialism, and the ongoing legacies of those who have resisted erasure.
Near me stands Perkerson Park, a site that bore witness to the brutalities of slavery and, later on, Jim Crow, Redlining, and so much more. It is a reminder of the ancestors whose labor built this land and whose resilience ensured that I, and so many others, are still here to tell these stories.
My presence here is layered with intersecting truths: I live on stolen land, and my ancestors were enslaved on this land, forced to build systems designed to erase them.
For white-bodied people, this invitation is extended to you. Ask yourself, whose land am I on? Take a moment to acknowledge the land you occupy, the Indigenous peoples to whom it belongs, and the histories of violence that intersect with your own ancestry and privilege.
Liberation requires holding these multiple truths: the harm caused, the resilience of those harmed, and the responsibility to repair and transform.
As we can see, today holds different meanings depending on where you sit in history. For many, it’s a day to gather with family and friends, sharing meals and connection. But for those committed to decolonization, it’s also a day that demands reflection and accountability.
This is not just a holiday—it is a settler-colonialist celebration rooted in the genocide of Indigenous peoples on Turtle Island and the violence of stolen land. As we gather, we must hold space for this truth while also acknowledging how Black communities, through resilience and creativity, have reclaimed this day as a pause from capitalism to nourish our families, honor our ancestors, and affirm we are still here.
Holding Space for Complexity
For Indigenous peoples, today is a painful reminder of what was taken and what continues to be lost. For Black communities, it’s a day to cook the food of our ancestors—what many now call “Southern food,” but which is truly the cuisine of enslaved Africans forced to make sustenance from scraps.
And for white-bodied people, this day is an invitation to step into the discomfort of history, to examine the myths you were taught, and to embrace your role in decolonization—not through guilt, but through intentional action.
Wherever you find yourself today—whether in a family gathering, with friends, or in solitude—there is an opportunity to approach this moment with connection, care, and accountability.
1. Connection: Start with Truth
Connection begins with truth-telling. Acknowledging the land you occupy and the histories intertwined with it is a foundational act of connection. It’s about grounding yourself in the truth of where you stand—both physically and historically—and recognizing the resilience of those who came before.
Try This:
Before your meal, name the land you are on and the Indigenous people it belongs to. Take a moment to reflect on what this acknowledgment means in your life and how you can honor it beyond today.
Conversation Starter:
“How can we honor the Indigenous peoples of this land not just today, but in our ongoing actions and commitments?”
2. Self-Care: Reclaim Rest for the Work Ahead
Decolonization is not just about recognizing what happened; it’s about doing the ongoing work of repair. Rest today knowing that restoration—for yourself and for the systems you’re a part of—is a process. Rest sustains us for the long work ahead.
Try This:
Pause and check in with your body. Are you holding tension? Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Let yourself rest today—not as a way to avoid the work but as a way to sustain it.
3. Community: Accountability Within Your Spaces
For white-bodied people, building community starts with accountability within your own spaces. Engage family or friends in conversations that challenge the myths of this holiday and examine how settler colonialism and systemic oppression continue to shape our lives.
Try This:
Instead of avoiding difficult topics, approach them with curiosity. Ask questions, share what you’ve learned about the history of this holiday, and invite others into deeper reflection.
Conversation Starter:
“I’ve been reflecting on the history of this holiday and how it erases the genocide of Indigenous peoples. Can we talk about ways to acknowledge this truth while we gather today?”
4. Grief and Joy Can Coexist: Layers of Truth
Today’s complexity calls us to hold multiple truths. We can grieve the histories of genocide and enslavement, honor the resilience of Indigenous and Black communities, and celebrate that we are still here to do this work. These truths don’t cancel each other out—they deepen our commitment to liberation.
Reflection Question:
How can I hold space for the grief of this history while also celebrating the resilience of those who survived it?
5. Action Beyond the Table
Reflection is a vital first step, but decolonization requires action. As you engage with these ideas, consider how you can extend your commitments beyond today. Whether it's supporting Indigenous-led initiatives, redistributing resources, or educating yourself and others, every small action contributes to collective change.
Actionable Ideas:
Donate to an Indigenous organization like IllumiNative or Navajo Water Project.
Support Black-owned businesses when shopping for the holidays.
Learn about local landback movements and share their work in your networks.
Resource Suggestion:
Explore books like An Indigenous Peoples’ History of the United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz or My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem to deepen your understanding.
6. Decolonization as a Daily Practice
Decolonization isn’t a once-a-year reflection—it’s a lifelong commitment to dismantling systems of oppression, starting with the spaces you move through daily. Use today as a springboard to incorporate this work into your ongoing life and relationships.
Reflection Prompt:
What is one practice you can commit to in the next month to move from reflection to action?
Example Commitment:
Learn the true history of the land I live on and share it with my community.
Build relationships with Indigenous and Black-led organizations in my area and ask how I can show up meaningfully.
Challenge supremacy culture traits in my workplace or personal relationships.
7. A Note on Staying Grounded
For many white-bodied people, conversations about history, harm, and accountability can stir up defensiveness or discomfort. Remember: this is not about guilt but about responsibility. You are not responsible for creating these systems, but you are responsible for the role you play in dismantling them.
Grounding Exercise:
If you feel defensiveness rise, pause and breathe. Place a hand over your heart and remind yourself: I can do hard things. Discomfort is a step toward growth.
Honoring the Legacy of Ancestors
As we gather today, remember that the foods we eat, the traditions we carry, and the connections we nurture are deeply tied to history. For Black communities, what we now call “Southern food” is a testament to the creativity and survival of enslaved Africans. For Indigenous peoples, every act of cultural preservation is a reclamation of identity.
For white-bodied people, today is an opportunity to reimagine what legacy you want to create. How can your actions today honor the ancestors who resisted oppression and reject the systems that uphold it?
Final Thoughts: Building Toward Liberation
Decolonization begins within us and extends outward. Today, you have the chance to choose connection over avoidance, accountability over complacency, and community over isolation. The work of liberation is layered and ongoing, and it requires us to engage deeply—not just today, but every day.
Today is an opportunity to practice gratitude—not the performative kind tied to the myths of this holiday, but genuine gratitude for the communities, ancestors, and movements that have paved the way for liberation.
Take a moment to thank those who have taught you, guided you, and supported you in your decolonization journey. Gratitude, like connection, is a radical act when grounded in truth.
If you’re ready to dive deeper into this work, join me for my upcoming live workshop, "Intersectionality of Liberation," on December 14th from 11 AM to 2 PM EST. Together, we’ll explore how intersecting identities and systems of oppression shape our world, and we’ll focus on actionable ways to dismantle those systems while building liberatory practices in our own lives.
✨ Workshop Details:
Date: Thursday, December 14, 2024
Time: 11 AM to 2 PM EST
Price: $97 (Payment plans and scholarships available)
Acknowledging the land, holding space for grief, and celebrating resilience are not just acts for today—they are practices we must carry forward. Decolonization is about committing to truth and liberation, not just for yourself but for the communities past, present, and future that are connected to this land.
Let’s choose connection, accountability, and care today—and every day—as we build a world rooted in justice and liberation.
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With love and solidarity,
Desireé B Stephens
Educator | Counselor | Community Builder
Founder of Make Shi(f)t Happen