Blooming Requires Boundaries
You cannot bloom where you are constantly being uprooted
🌬️ Let’s begin with breath...
Take a slow inhale...
Feel where your body meets the earth or your seat or the moment.
Exhale... and notice what parts of you have been asking for space.
Place your hand on your heart, your womb, your belly—wherever your truth lives—and whisper:
“My bloom is sacred. I do not have to stay where I am being drained.”
This Week’s Reflection: Boundaries, Nourishment, and Reclamation
Growth is not about forcing ourselves to bloom everywhere.
It’s about choosing where we’re actually nourished.
And for so many of us, that means learning how to say:
“This isn’t soil I can grow in anymore.”
This week in Liberation Education, we move from the invisible root systems of community care into the visible structure of our lives—boundaries. Because just like roots, boundaries are how we receive nourishment and protect what is sacred.
But here's what supremacy culture taught us:
That saying no is selfish.
That holding boundaries is violent.
That we’re only good when we’re always available, always giving, always performing.
Supremacy culture demands access.
Liberation teaches discernment.
Boundaries Are the Architecture of Blooming
A flower cannot bloom if the soil is constantly being disturbed.
A garden cannot flourish if the roots are always exposed.
And you, sacred one, cannot thrive if your energy, time, and worth are constantly being extracted.
Boundaries are not walls.
They are trellises.
They help us rise.
So reflect with me:
Where am I still rooted in performance instead of peace?
What relationships or roles leave me depleted, not nourished?
What parts of myself am I sacrificing in the name of being “good,” “available,” or “resilient”?
You deserve soil that feeds you back.
You deserve to bloom without apology.
This Week’s Song: “Bag Lady” by Erykah Badu
Because healing is about what we’re willing to put down.
Because joy is lighter when it’s not carrying obligation.
Because sometimes boundaries sound like: “I’m not picking that up anymore.”
Seasonal Healing Is Political (and Anti-Colonial)
What we’re doing here isn’t just personal healing—it’s systemic dismantling.
This seasonal, cyclical, whole-self work is a direct refusal of empire logic.
Empire says:
Always be producing.
Don’t rest. Don’t question. Don’t stop.
Expand endlessly (even if it kills you).
Liberation says:
You get to pause.
You get to root.
You get to bloom in your own rhythm—not in reaction to someone else’s demand.
This is anti-racist. This is anti-oppression. This is anti-empire.
And it is healing work—soul-deep and whole-self.
This Isn’t Just a Reflection—It’s Part of a Body of Work
This piece is not a standalone thought.
It’s part of an ever-growing, ever-rooting body of work—one that holds healing, decolonization, and liberation as living practices, not performance.
In Liberation Education, boundaries are not side notes.
They are a central tenet in our seasonal approach to dismantling supremacy culture.
Because boundaries disrupt systems that demand overextension.
Because boundaries honor our sacred time, energy, and intuition.
Because boundaries are a reclamation—from grind culture, from internalized oppression, from the lie that we must earn our worth through depletion.
In this Season of Blooming, we’re not just reflecting—we’re remembering.
That bloom without boundary is exploitation.
That healing is political.
That tending to the whole self is a radical act of anti-colonial resistance.
Ready to Go Deeper?
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Let’s get into the mud
We are not meant to bloom in exposed soil.
We are not meant to stretch toward the sun while our roots are constantly trampled.
We are not meant to give endlessly and call it love.
That is not blooming. That is erosion.
Boundaries are not rejection. They are reverence.
They are not about building walls to keep people out—
They are about building containers that keep your sacred self intact.
Just as a trellis helps a vine rise without collapsing under its own weight,
boundaries give our blooming a shape. A direction. A protection.
They hold the weight of our becoming so we don’t have to do it alone.
So let me ask you to ask you again, but deeper this time:
Where am I overextended? Not because I love too much, but because I haven’t been taught that love includes limits.
Where am I confusing sacrifice for selflessness? Who told me that burning out was a badge?
Where do I keep uprooting myself to prove that I’m committed, loyal, strong... even when I’m exhausted, unseen, or hurt?
You Deserve Soil That Feeds You Back
Let this be the truth you carry into your week:
You are allowed to be unavailable.
You are allowed to be unproductive.
You are allowed to choose rest, solitude, slowness, and refusal.
That doesn’t make you unreliable.
It makes you rooted.
Boundaries are how we say:
My body is not for extraction.
My time is not up for negotiation.
My joy is not conditional.
My bloom is not your entitlement.
Because if the systems around us refuse to protect our sacred energy,
then we must learn to protect it ourselves—and with each other.
Boundaries aren’t about cutting people off.
They’re about cutting off access to the parts of us that are tired of being mishandled.
And here’s the radical truth:
You do not have to explain your no.
You do not have to justify your need.
You do not have to sacrifice your softness to be strong.
You are the flower.
You are the soil.
You are the gardener.
You get to decide what grows here.
Practice Your Praxis: Living the Boundary
This isn’t just about thinking differently. It’s about living differently.
Here are three ways to bring this week’s reflection into your body, your relationships, and your rhythm of life:
1. A Boundary Script to Practice
Say it out loud. Write it. Whisper it in the mirror. Let your body hear you mean it:
“I don’t owe anyone access to what I’m still healing.”
“I’m allowed to change my mind when my body changes its truth.”
“My availability is not proof of my love. My boundary is.”
Let these become your mantras—not as apology, but as declaration.
2. Create a “Yes List”
Boundaries aren’t just about what you say no to. They’re about protecting your sacred yes.
Take 10 minutes today and write down:
What am I saying yes to with joy (enthusiastic consent in all things)?
What deserves more of me, because it gives to me?
What yeses have become obligations instead of alignment?
Circle the ones that still feel true. Cross out the ones that are costing your peace. That is your boundary map.
3. Practice in Real Time
Choose one moment this week to hold a boundary (softly but firmly). This might look like:
Saying “Not right now” without explanation.
Rescheduling something so you can rest.
Letting someone else take the lead, even if you normally carry it all.
Notice how it feels in your body. Does tension rise? Does relief come?
Name it. Breathe through it. You are building a new rhythm.
You Don’t Just Read This Work—You Become It
We don’t bloom by knowing more.
We bloom by protecting what’s sacred while it grows.
You are doing that. Right now.
Come back to this practice anytime you feel your roots tugged on.
And if you need a reminder, write this somewhere you’ll see it:
“I do not have to stay where I’m being uprooted.
I bloom in soil that feeds me back.”
More Ways to Root In This Season
🎥 Cinema & Conjure
Join me and Lady Speech Sankofa as we explore films through a decolonized, spiritual lens—with conversation, ritual, and ancestral healing.
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🌿 The Decolonization Pathway
If you're ready to unlearn, root deep, and live differently across Self, Home, and Work—our year-long journey is opening soon.
Join the waitlist here: https://form.jotform.com/251208966714058
🧾 Creating Healthy Boundaries Workbook
This is decolonized boundary work. This is collective wellness.
This is part of the movement.
Let’s make shi(f)t happen.
Download here: https://desireebstephens.bio/shop/87e9d19b-c5d9-4a8f-8049-b3c03d59788c
In Closing
You are not here to be endlessly available.
You are not here to bloom for others’ benefit while your own roots go dry.
You are allowed to set boundaries that make no sense to people who benefit from your lack of them.
You are allowed to protect your energy, your joy, your time, your body, your spirit.
You are allowed to choose yourself.
Because blooming is not just a gift—it’s a birthright.
And you do not have to suffer to deserve it.
In solidarity and liberation,
Desireé B. Stephens, CPS-P
Educator | Counselor | Community Builder
Founder, Make Shi(f)t Happen
New Agreements, New Systems, Deeper Connections
Writer of Liberation Education
Where Reflection Meets Transformation
“Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re trellises.” I love that!
Desiree, this is soooo good. So much truth here. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. This hits home right now during finals week when I’m being stretched too thin and boundaries are hard to hold.