Boundaries as Liberation: How Do I Hold Space for Others Without Absorbing Their Burdens?
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Dear Liberators,
Holding space is sacred, but for many of us—especially those socialized into caregiving roles or shaped by marginalization—it has also become survival. We've been taught that our empathy must come at the cost of our own wellbeing. That to love deeply means to carry, to fix, to absorb. But this isn’t love. This is martyrdom disguised as compassion, and it is one of supremacy culture’s most insidious lies.
Supremacy culture—especially in its capitalist, patriarchal, and white supremacist forms—asks us to blur our emotional boundaries in service of productivity, politeness, and placation. It says to women and femmes: your job is to be agreeable, accommodating, and endlessly available. It tells men and mascs that care must come without emotion, without softness, without need. It demands that Black folks in particular hold everyone else’s trauma while being denied the right to fully process our own.
The result? Emotional exhaustion, relational codependency, and the belief that our value lies in how much we carry for others.
But liberation work begins with reclaiming our boundaries—not as walls, but as sacred containers. Not to keep others out, but to keep our energy sovereign. This week, we ask:
How do I hold space for others without absorbing their burdens?
Because real care—liberatory care—is not about sacrificing ourselves. It's about showing up fully, while staying rooted in our own wholeness.
Critical Reflection
When was the first time you were taught that love meant self-sacrifice?
What systems have benefited from your emotional overextension?
Where do you still believe that setting boundaries is selfish or unkind?
How would your relationships change if your boundaries were honored as sacred?
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