Breaking Up with Urgency: How to Cultivate Intentional Growth
Good morning, I would like to offer that as you are reading this, sit for a moment. Grab a hot beverage… I’ve got tea, and allow yourself 5 minutes to pause and enjoy. You are worth it!
Now let’s begin.
Urgency has shaped so much of how we move through the world. It’s in the pressure to always be productive, in the guilt we feel when we slow down, in the belief that if we aren’t constantly doing, we are somehow falling behind.
For much of my life I lived in this cycle. Constantly feeling the pressure to do, or become. There was never enough time. Then as age kept coming I realized time keeps coming until it dosen’t, and that I have no control over.
I recall how urgency dictated my days, my decisions, my body. Running a business while expanding into new ventures, managing a household with children, navigating the constant demands of survival—I was always moving, always carrying, always holding everything together. And for a long time, I thought this was strength.
But urgency is not strength. It is not a virtue. It is a weight we were never meant to carry.
Urgency is a tool of supremacy culture, designed to keep us exhausted, reactive, and too overwhelmed to imagine a different way of being. It thrives on the belief that our worth is tied to our productivity, that slowing down is dangerous, that rest must be earned.
But what if we stepped outside of that? What if we broke up with urgency—not just in theory, but in practice?
What if we allowed ourselves to move at the speed of our own breath, of our own spirit?
The Impact of Urgency on the Body and Spirit
Urgency doesn’t just shape our schedules—it lives in our bodies. It sits in the clench of our jaws, in the tension in our shoulders, in the restless nights where our minds refuse to quiet. It manifests as anxiety, exhaustion, the deep and lingering sense that no matter how much we do, we are never quite doing enough.
This is not just a mindset shift—it is a reclamation of our nervous systems. Because when we live in a constant state of urgency, our bodies never get the signal that we are safe.
What happens when we give ourselves permission to slow down? To breathe? To trust?
When we break up with urgency, we are not just reclaiming our time—we are reclaiming our right to exist in a body that is not constantly bracing for impact.
Practice: As you read this, check in with your body. Where are you holding tension? What shifts when you allow yourself to take a deep, intentional breath?
How Urgency Separates Us from Each Other
One of the most insidious things about urgency is that it isolates us.
It convinces us that we must handle everything on our own, that asking for help is a sign of weakness, that we don’t have time to slow down and connect. Supremacy culture thrives on individualism—the belief that we must be entirely self-sufficient, that relying on others makes us burdensome. (Individualism is also one of the 15 pillars of supremacy culture.)