Building a Supportive Community: Creating Parallel Learning Systems for Decolonized Education
Creating Parallel Learning Systems That Foster Curiosity, Autonomy, and Emotional Safety
Introduction:
In an education system built on compliance, control, and conformity, children often find themselves at odds with their natural curiosity and sense of self. Decolonizing education means more than just teaching children facts—it’s about empowering them to question the systems around them, affirm their identities, and foster emotional growth.
This article explores how parents and educators can help children navigate oppressive structures, foster critical thinking, and honor their emotional and intellectual growth. When we teach children to question and challenge what’s being presented to them, we nurture their ability to understand the world beyond the confines of progress as bigger, more, and embrace a learning process rooted in liberation. This process also requires building supportive communities and acknowledging the discomfort that comes with challenging traditional systems.
Focus 1: Teaching Children to Question Systems of Oppression in Schools
At its core, the current educational system often reinforces systems of oppression—whether through a Eurocentric curriculum, a focus on measurable outputs like grades, or rigid behavioral expectations. To dismantle this, parents and educators must encourage children to ask questions that go beyond surface-level answers and explore who is left out of the narrative.
Encouraging children to critique the curriculum and ask why certain perspectives are prioritized over others is a foundational step toward decolonizing their education. Teaching children to recognize whose voices are included and whose are excluded gives them the tools to break away from oppressive structures and explore knowledge outside these confines.
Actionable Steps:
1. Encourage Curiosity Over Compliance
Shift the focus from following rules to engaging with curiosity. Create space for your child to ask questions about what they’re learning and help them explore different perspectives. When learning is driven by curiosity, children feel empowered to think critically rather than simply complying with the systems around them.
Actionable Tip:
At the end of each school day, ask, “What’s something you were curious about today?” or “What’s a question you still have?” Encourage open dialogue around those questions, helping them research or explore further.
2. Establish Learning Agreements Together
Instead of enforcing rigid structures for learning at home, co-create a set of learning agreements with your child. This allows them to have ownership over their learning environment. Discuss things like how much time will be spent on schoolwork, when breaks are needed, and how they can take charge of their own progress.
Actionable Tip:
Set up a family meeting where you and your child discuss what’s needed for their learning. Ask them how they prefer to manage schoolwork and create agreements that reflect both their needs and yours.
3. Build Emotional Safety as the Foundation for Learning
Create an environment where emotional safety comes first. Make sure your child knows they can express how they’re feeling—whether it's frustration, boredom, or excitement—without fear of judgment. When children feel emotionally safe, they’re more likely to engage with learning authentically rather than performing to meet external expectations.
Actionable Tip:
Use phrases like, “It’s okay to feel frustrated with this subject—let’s figure it out together,” or “It’s okay to take a break if you need one.” This models emotional safety and self-regulation as integral parts of the learning process. Create spaces where this is an interconnected journey between parents, caregivers, educators, and children.
Focus 2: Embracing Discomfort and Curating Community
Challenging the systems that exist in schools will undoubtedly create discomfort—both for children and for parents or educators. Discomfort is part of the process, and when we disrupt oppressive systems, people often take it personally because they’re also under pressure for output, productivity, and control. The key is to make space for discomfortwithout letting it shut down the work.
Seeking to create parallel systems at home and in schools isn’t just about individual action; it’s about curating community. Parents, educators, and caregivers must work together to foster environments where alternative systems can thrive, even in the face of resistance from more traditional approaches. This means actively building and participating in communities that support decolonization, where discomfort is acknowledged but doesn’t prevent growth.
Actionable Steps:
1. Anticipate Resistance and Discomfort
Whenever systems are challenged, expect resistance. Prepare yourself and your child by normalizing discomfort in the learning process. Let them know that growth doesn’t always feel comfortable, and that questioning the status quo may cause friction with teachers or peers.
Actionable Tip:
Create a phrase or signal that allows your child to check in with you when they’re feeling discomfort or resistance at school. At home, talk openly about the discomfort you both experience when challenging the systems around you.
2. Create a Supportive Community
Find or curate a group of parents, caregivers, and educators who are also invested in parallel systems. This might be a community group where decolonization is discussed regularly, or even an online forum where you can share resources and experiences. This community provides support when traditional systems push back.
Actionable Tip:
Reach out to other parents or educators to discuss creating learning pods or shared discussion groups. These spaces can provide emotional support for your children and help them realize they are not alone in this process.
Here is a guide on how to build these communities
3. Proactively Address Hierarchies in Education
Talk to your child’s teachers about creating more collaborative environments in the classroom, where your child’s voice is valued. Understand that teachers are also under pressure to meet output and performance standards, and work with them to find ways where your child’s critical thinking and autonomy can still be respected.
Actionable Tip:
In school meetings or discussions, proactively ask, “How can we make sure my child’s autonomy and learning preferences are respected in this classroom?” Be ready to offer alternative solutions or bring in examples from your own family’s learning agreements.
Pillars Dismantled:
Objectivity: The myth that education is objective often erases marginalized perspectives. By teaching children to question whose voices are included and whose are left out, we dismantle the idea that knowledge can be neutral.
Progress is Bigger, More: Schools often equate success with expansion and productivity—the more a child achieves, the better they’re considered. However, by embracing liberation over achievement, we show children that their growth isn’t measured by grades or output, but by how deeply they understand themselves and their communities.
Healing Focus: Supporting Children's Emotional Growth and Identity Outside Societal Expectations
As we guide children through the process of decolonizing their education, we must also nurture their emotional well-being. School can be a difficult space for children, especially when they are encouraged to fit into rigid boxes. Offering them space to process their emotions and affirm their identities helps them build a strong sense of self, untethered from societal expectations.
Creating a parallel system at home or in the classroom, where emotions are valued as much as intellect, helps children understand that they are more than their achievements. They are whole, capable individuals whose emotional well-being matters.
Parents and educators can:
Practice emotional check-ins at the end of each school day.
Encourage children to explore creative outlets that support their growth outside of the school’s confines.
Use phrases like, “Your feelings are valid,” or “It’s okay to question what you’re learning—this is part of your growth.”
Conclusion:
Decolonizing education is not just about resisting what’s taught—it’s about creating parallel systems that challenge traditional methods, foster emotional safety, and support children's ability to question and grow beyond the limitations of oppressive structures. Building supportive communities allows families and educators to share resources, handle discomfort together, and create spaces where children can thrive—emotionally, intellectually, and culturally.
This work is uncomfortable, but it's through discomfort that real change happens. By centering children's voices, fostering curiosity, and collaborating with other families and educators, we can create systems that liberate rather than confine.
In solidarity and liberation,
Desireé B Stephens
Journal Prompts for Collaborative Reflection
Here are some collaborative journal prompts for parents, caregivers, and children to explore together. These prompts help deepen the conversation around decolonizing education and building supportive communities:
For Parents and Caregivers:
What discomfort have I experienced while trying to create a parallel learning system for my child? How have I handled that discomfort, and what support do I need moving forward?
In what ways have I seen my child flourish when given autonomy over their learning? How can I support them more?
What is one aspect of the current education system I want to challenge or change? How can I work with my community to make that change happen?
For Children:
What is something you learned recently that made you feel curious or excited? How did it make you feel when you got to explore that idea further?
What’s a time when you felt frustrated or uncomfortable at school? How can we work together to make it better?
What’s one thing you’d like to learn more about that we haven’t explored yet? How can we make space for that at home or in school?