Mother’s Day is a celebration of love, sacrifice, and the myriad forms of motherhood. For mothers navigating the journey of divorce or separation, the day may carry complex emotions, especially when the father of their children does not acknowledge their role. The absence of recognition from someone who once shared the most intimate parts of life can sharpen the sting of isolation, but it also presents a profound opportunity to embrace and redefine what family and motherhood mean to you.
The pain of not being acknowledged on Mother’s Day by your former partner is real and valid. It may feel like a negation of all the hard work, love, and dedication you pour into raising your children. This lack of communication can seem to overshadow the celebration, making it hard to feel the joy that the day is supposed to represent. It's important to acknowledge these feelings; they are a legitimate part of your emotional landscape. But it's equally important to remember that your value and your identity as a mother are not diminished by someone else's oversight.
This Mother’s Day, allow yourself the space to feel all your emotions—the sadness, the frustration, perhaps even anger or loneliness—but also, make a conscious choice not to let these feelings define the day. Celebrate your strength, resilience, and the unconditional love you give to your children. Recognize that your role as a mother is colossal and integral, validated each day through your interactions with your children, rather than by the acknowledgments you receive or don’t receive from others.
Reframe the narrative of the day by focusing on the positive aspects of your life and your children. Create new traditions that celebrate your unique situation. Maybe it’s a special outing with your children, a video call with other single mothers, or a quiet day enjoying a favorite family activity at home. Whatever it is, let it be a reflection of the joy and pride you find in motherhood.
Connecting with a supportive community can also be incredibly healing. Reach out to friends, family, or online groups where you can share your experiences and feelings. Knowing that others are navigating similar challenges can provide comfort and strength. These connections remind us that we are not alone in our journeys, and they provide a broader, supportive network that celebrates with us, even when others may not.
On Mother’s Day, remember: your worth as a mother is immense, your journey is commendable, and your love is the pillar that holds your family together. Today, like every day, you deserve to celebrate yourself and the beautiful family you continue to nurture, regardless of its shape or size. Motherhood, in all its forms, is beautiful. Celebrate yours.
With love and care,
Desireé B Stephens
Holding you here!
Fantastic advice that I will be working to incorporate for myself today! One day I may add those stories to my Substack as well but not today. SO MUCH ADORATION FOR YOU DESIREE! 🫶🏻🫶🏻