The Work Beneath the Work: Shadow Work in Relationships
If you've been doing liberation work for any amount of time, you've likely confronted external systems of oppression—white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism. But what happens when you realize those systems don’t just exist out there, but also inside of you?
This is where shadow work begins. It’s the part of the work that doesn’t get a spotlight because it’s not always about what’s visible or external. Shadow work is the excavation of our unconscious biases, fears, and wounds—the parts of ourselves shaped by trauma, social conditioning, and inherited beliefs that we haven’t fully examined.
But here’s the truth: liberation is impossible without shadow work. If we don’t name the harm we carry, we will inevitably project it onto others. We will bring those wounds into our communities, our relationships, and our movements—causing the very harm we claim to resist.
Today, we’re peeling back the layers. We’re diving deep into the ways shadow work influences relationships—how our unexamined wounds affect the way we engage with others, why we must learn to hold space for both ourselves and each other, and what it means to approach this work as a collective responsibility.
A Free Preview of Today’s Conversation
For those still considering whether to go deeper, here’s a powerful excerpt from today’s discussion:
📌 [Minute 18:45 - 23:20]
This is where I break down how shadow work is necessary for decolonization, sharing a deeply personal experience of confronting internalized bias in real time. This moment highlights why unlearning isn’t just an intellectual exercise—it’s an embodied practice that requires deep self-awareness and courage.
If today’s discussion resonates, upgrade to a paid subscription for exclusive access to in-depth reflections, actionable tools, and guided practices that will help you integrate this work into your daily life. If finances are a barrier, email Scholarships@DesireeBStephens.com for assistance.
Now, let’s get into it.
