Embodied Consent: From Control to Co-Creation
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Consent as a radical liberation practice in all relationships.
Dear Liberators,
There’s a difference between permission and consent.
Permission is granted by someone else.
Consent is claimed by you.
Too often, we’ve been taught to equate consent with just “saying yes” or “not saying no.” But true consent is co-created, not coerced. And anything given under pressure, fear, guilt, or obligation?
That’s not consent.
That’s compliance.
In this week’s Liberation Lesson, we explore how embodied consent is not just a personal boundary, it’s a political stance, a spiritual practice, and a collective liberation tool.
So let’s talk about the revolutionary “no.”
And let’s talk about the even more sacred “yes.”
Let’s talk about how language has been weaponized to dress control up as consent, and how we take it back.
Because here’s the truth:
Consent isn’t about compliance. It’s about co-creation.
And if word is born, then what we speak over our boundaries, our capacity, our energy—creates the blueprint of our liberation.
This past week, we gathered around the sacred fire of truth in our podcast, Let’s Have the Conversation in yesterday’s episode: The Sacred Yes and the Revolutionary No. And something powerful emerged:
A choice made under duress is not a choice.
A “yes” made out of fear, guilt, or exhaustion is not consent.
And a “no” does not require a thesis statement.
When I said no to the 9:30 am live, and yes to the 12:30 rest, it wasn't just about scheduling.
It was about sovereignty.
It was about listening inward before responding outward.
It was about refusing to build liberation work on top of self-erasure.
Now I want to ask you this:
Where in your life have you been calling compliance consent?
And what would it look like to return to your sacred yes, fully embodied, fully alive?
Words Create Worlds: Thought-Terminating Clichés That Undermine Consent
This is where our June theme, Word is Born, comes roaring in.
Because language is a spell, and we have been handed scripts that make silence look like agreement and compliance look like collaboration.
Here are some of the most common thought-terminating clichés that shut down the sacred work of embodied consent:
1. “Just go with the flow.”
— Control disguised as chill.
Often used to sidestep discomfort or ignore someone’s needs.
Reframe:
“You’re allowed to speak when the river feels dangerous.”
2. “Don’t make it weird.”
— Shames boundaries and truth-telling.
Used to gaslight or invalidate someone’s emotional reality.
Reframe:
“Truth might shift the vibe, but it also sets us free.”
3. “You’ve always been okay with this before.”
— Weaponizes history to deny evolution.
Used to manipulate or shame someone’s changed response.
Reframe:
“Consent is dynamic. You’re allowed to shift in real-time.”
4. “We’ve already put in too much work to back out now.”
— Productivity pressure masked as partnership.
Used in romantic, work, or activism spaces to trap someone in obligation.
Reframe:
“Liberation doesn’t require martyrdom.”
5. “But we need you.”
— Emotional blackmail cloaked as flattery.
Common in care work, movements, families, and friend groups.
Reframe:
“Need is not consent. You do not owe your yes to be worthy of love or belonging.”
Language Audit: What Spells Are You Still Under?
As part of our integration this week, take time to do a language audit in your journal or your voice notes.
Prompts:
What phrases have I used that may have overridden someone’s consent?
What phrases do I reach for when I want to control, not co-create?
What new language can I birth that reflects my values?
Why This Matters to Liberation Work
Embodied consent isn’t just a personal practice, it’s a collective dismantling strategy. Supremacy culture thrives on domination, coercion, and silencing. It rewards over-explaining, pathologizes boundaries, and weaponizes urgency. When we reclaim our right to say no without justification and yes without depletion, we are breaking the very bones of the system.
When we practice embodied consent, we are actively dismantling several of the 15 Pillars of Supremacy Culture, including:
1. Power Hoarding → Replaced by Shared Power
Embodied consent decentralizes power. It honors each individual as the authority of their own body and capacity. When “no” is respected, and “yes” is not extracted, power is shared, not stolen.
2. Fear of Open Conflict → Replaced by Courageous Communication
Embodied consent requires truth-telling even when it's uncomfortable. It builds relational trust by saying, “I will not betray myself to avoid your disappointment.”
3. Individualism → Replaced by Collective Care
When we honor others’ no without punishment and allow ourselves to rest without guilt, we move toward communities rooted in mutual respect, not performance or self-sacrifice.
4. Right to Comfort → Replaced by Right to Truth
Embodied consent challenges the norm that discomfort must be avoided at all costs. It asks us to prioritize honesty over harmony, and values liberation over likability.
5. Quantity Over Quality → Replaced by Sustainability
Consent says: I will not measure my worth by output. I will not override my body to meet deadlines or demands. It is a direct resistance to hustle culture.
Writing New Liberation Language
If word is born, then consent becomes the language of liberation.
We move from:
“I have to” → “I choose to.”
“I should” → “I’m aligned with.”
“I don’t want to disappoint” → “I will not abandon myself.”
We begin to craft liberated vocabularies that center agency over appeasement, and sovereignty over survival.
Try integrating:
“That’s not a yes for me right now.”
“My no isn’t rejection—it’s reverence.”
“I trust my pause as much as I trust my action.”
These aren’t just semantic shifts.
These are spells of reclamation.
They reshape the energy of our relationships, our work, our parenting, our activism.
They build worlds where each being’s right to choose is sacred.
Let's Pause
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