It's All Shadow work
Exploring the Sacred Grief of What Was Lost, What Must Be Released, and What We Are Called to Reclaim
It’s All Shadow Work: Holding the Grief of Colonization and the Hope of Decolonization
Grief is a universal experience, yet it often remains misunderstood, especially when it comes to the layered and collective grief tied to colonization and the ongoing work of decolonization. This Grief Awareness Week, we are invited to reflect not only on personal loss but also on the historical, cultural, and generational losses that continue to shape our world today.
Colonization has left a legacy of fractured identities, disconnection from ancestral roots, and the painful erasure of cultural practices. This grief, often unspoken and dismissed, lives in our bodies, our communities, and the systems we navigate daily. At the same time, the journey of decolonization—the process of reclaiming, unlearning, and rebuilding—is equally marked by profound grief.
To decolonize is to mourn what has been stolen, to let go of internalized systems that no longer serve us, and to face the vulnerability of imagining a liberated future. It is a process steeped in loss, but also in love—love for what was, what could have been, and what might still be possible.
As we explore the grief of colonization and decolonization, may we honor it as sacred, transformative, and necessary for collective healing and liberation.
Grief Awareness Week offers a profound opportunity to reflect on a less-discussed yet deeply resonant form of grief—the grief of colonization and the grief of decolonization. Colonization is not just an act of land theft or cultural erasure; it is an ongoing process that disrupts the connection between individuals, communities, and their ancestral roots. The healing process, decolonization, is equally layered with grief as we let go of internalized systems, mourn the loss of what was taken, and navigate the vulnerability of rebuilding.
Shadow Work and Liberation
Shadow work is the act of exploring and integrating the hidden, suppressed, and often painful parts of ourselves. In the context of colonization, shadow work takes on a collective and historical dimension, inviting us to uncover the deep wounds inflicted by colonial systems and to mourn what has been lost.
Colonization forces individuals and communities to suppress parts of themselves to survive. Shadow work in this context means grappling with the internalized messages of unworthiness, shame, or inferiority and understanding how those shadows manifest in our lives today.
But it’s not just personal; colonization creates a collective shadow—the parts of history, culture, and systemic oppression that remain unacknowledged. Decolonization, then, becomes shadow work on a societal scale, bringing those hidden truths to light and creating space for both mourning and imagining liberated futures.
For White-Bodied People: Reckoning with What Was Lost
White-bodied people often view colonization as something they have benefitted from, but it is also important to reflect on what has been lost in the process of Christianization and colonization. Many white communities were severed from their indigenous European practices, languages, and spiritual systems. These losses, though different in scope and nature, form a part of the collective grief that must be acknowledged to engage in true decolonization.
However, it is essential to recognize that decolonization is distinct from anti-racism work. Anti-racism is often a logical journey of learning the dos and don’ts, the how-tos of dismantling oppressive behaviors and systems. It is a necessary and vital process, but it operates primarily at the intellectual and systemic levels.
Decolonization, by contrast, is an embodied, ongoing practice. It requires white-bodied people to confront their internalized superiority and reckon with the ways in which they’ve been shaped by supremacy culture while simultaneously addressing its external impacts. This work is slower, deeper, and profoundly personal—it is shadow work in its truest form, where one must grapple with grief, identity, and the vulnerability of rebuilding what has been lost.
Decolonization is not just about addressing harm; it is also about reclaiming humanity—both one’s own and that of others. For white-bodied people, this means reconnecting with their ancestral roots in ways that do not appropriate but instead honor the traditions and practices that existed before colonization took hold.
The Grief of Colonization
Colonization inflicts a form of generational trauma that manifests as:
Disconnection from Ancestors and Cultural Practices: Colonialism systematically erased languages, spiritual practices, and traditions, leaving many without a sense of cultural belonging.
Displacement: Both physical (forced migration) and emotional displacement occur, severing ties to homelands and shared histories.
Internalized Oppression: Colonized peoples are conditioned to reject their identities, leading to self-hatred, shame, and a fragmented sense of self.
Community Fracture: Colonial systems foster division—colorism, caste systems, and socioeconomic stratification—that break collective solidarity.
This grief is often compounded by the invisibilization of these losses, where colonized peoples are expected to “move on” or assimilate, perpetuating unacknowledged pain.
The Grief of Decolonization
Decolonization is not just liberation; it is also a grieving process. The work of reclaiming what has been lost often reveals:
The Weight of What Was Taken: Fully reckoning with the scale of loss—languages, lands, ancestors, and opportunities—can be devastating.
Letting Go of What No Longer Serves: Dismantling internalized supremacy, perfectionism, and productivity-as-worth can feel like a loss, especially when these systems provide a false sense of security.
Rebuilding in Uncertainty: Decolonization often means stepping into the unknown—building practices and systems from fragments of memory and imagination.
Tension in Relationships: As individuals decolonize, there may be grief in witnessing loved ones resist or reject this path.
Honoring Grief in the Process of Liberation
Grief, in both colonization and decolonization, is a sign of love—for what was lost, for what could have been, and for the possibilities that remain. Here are some ways to hold space for this grief:
Acknowledge Grief as Sacred: Grief is a natural, necessary response to loss. By honoring it, we resist the colonial demand to suppress emotions and “move on.”
Reclaim Rituals: Incorporate cultural or ancestral grief practices, such as storytelling, ceremony, or communal mourning, as part of your decolonization process.
Connect with Community: Healing grief is not an individual journey. Build circles of support to share stories, hold space for emotions, and collectively imagine liberated futures.
Engage Somatic Practices: Grief lives in the body. Practices like breathwork, movement, or grounding rituals can help process the heaviness.
Allow Grief to Transform: While grief is heavy, it can also fuel growth and connection. Channel it into action, creation, and reclamation.
Grief Exercises and Journal Prompts for Colonization and Decolonization
Grief is not just emotional; it’s embodied, layered, and complex. These exercises and prompts are designed to help you hold space for your grief, process it in meaningful ways, and move toward healing with intention.
Grief Exercises
Grounding Through Ancestral Connection
Find a quiet space where you can sit comfortably.
Place your feet firmly on the ground and close your eyes.
Visualize roots growing from your feet, connecting you to your ancestors and their wisdom.
As you breathe deeply, silently acknowledge their grief, their strength, and the lessons they’ve passed on.
Here is an Ancestral Observation exercise as well
Ritual of Release
Write down things you’ve internalized from colonization (e.g., perfectionism, shame, loss of identity).
Fold the paper and, if possible, safely burn it while saying aloud: I release what no longer serves me and reclaim my power.
If burning is not possible, tear it up and bury it in the earth as an offering.
Here is a cord-cutting exercise as well
Movement for Mourning
Choose a piece of music that resonates with your grief.
Allow your body to move freely—whether through gentle swaying, deliberate steps, or even stomping.
Let your body guide you in expressing and releasing grief through movement.
Somatic Holding
Place your hand on your heart or your belly.
Breathe deeply and imagine sending love to the parts of your body that carry grief.
Repeat an affirmation like: Grief is sacred. I honor this pain as part of my liberation journey.
Journal Prompts
Reflecting on Loss
What have I lost due to colonization—personally, culturally, or generationally?
How do I see these losses reflected in my life or community today?
Honoring My Ancestors
What grief might my ancestors have carried, and how can I honor their strength in my healing process?
What ancestral practices or traditions can I reclaim to reconnect with my roots?
Navigating Decolonization Grief
What beliefs, habits, or systems am I grieving as I let them go?
How can I hold space for both the discomfort of loss and the joy of liberation?
Imagining Liberation
What would a life or world free of colonization’s impacts feel like for me?
What small steps can I take today to align with that vision?
Grief as Love
If grief is a reflection of love, what does my grief teach me about what I value most?
How can I channel this love into healing and growth?
These practices and prompts are an invitation to move with your grief rather than against it, to honor it as a necessary part of both mourning and transformation.
Balancing Grief with Joy
As heavy as grief can feel, it is only part of the story. Grief exists because love exists. The love we feel for our ancestors, our communities, and the futures we imagine is what makes this work sacred. Joy, then, becomes an act of resistance and reclamation—something colonization sought to erase.
Joy doesn’t deny grief; it complements it. It creates space to celebrate the resilience of our ancestors, to honor the beauty of our cultures, and to dream boldly about what liberation can look like. Whether it’s through reclaiming traditions, connecting with community, or simply allowing yourself moments of rest and laughter, joy is a reminder of what we are fighting for.
As we move through Grief Awareness Week, I invite you to pause and hold space for these layers of grief—yours, your ancestors', and your community's. Ask yourself: Where does grief show up in my decolonization journey? How can I honor it without rushing to resolve it?
Liberation begins with acknowledgment, and healing grows in community. Let this reflection serve as a step toward not just understanding grief, but embracing it as a sacred part of the journey to freedom.
Decolonization is an act of love, not just for ourselves but for those who came before us and those who will follow. This week, let us honor the grief of colonization as well as the sacred grief of liberation.
Ways to Journey Deeper
Choose the ones your body has capacity for. Each offering is an invitation, not an expectation.
✨ Creating Healthy Boundaries Workbook If you are seeking ways to create boundaries for yourself this will guide you along the way Download here
✨ Book Leah’s Arc of Inner Knowing
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✨ Table Talk Unpacked
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✨ 31 Days of Shadow Work for Liberation (App)
Step into the Season of Self with 31 guided prompts, somatic practices, and altar invitations for just $11.
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✨ Ebook: Dismantling Supremacy Culture (2nd edition)
Understanding and Overcoming Its 15 Pillars — a foundational guide to identify, name, and unlearn the habits of dominance within ourselves and our systems.
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In solidarity and liberation,
Desireé B. Stephens
Educator | Counselor | Community Builder
Founder, Make Shi(f)t Happen
Writer of Liberation Education
Steward of Selenite & Sage Healing Homestead Co.
Where Reflection Meets Transformation