Not Every Storm Means You’re Failing
Learning to trust the process even when liberation feels messy
🌬️ Before We Begin: Come Into the Center
Find a moment of stillness…right here, right now.
Feel your body supported by the earth, the chair, the breath.
Inhale — I am allowed to be in process.
Exhale — I do not have to be perfect to be powerful.
Inhale — Storms are not signs of failure.
Exhale — They are sometimes the only way to clear the air.
Whisper this:
“I am not broken. I am becoming.”
Now, let’s begin.
The Myth of the Peaceful Path
We’ve been sold a lie.
That healing is linear.
That justice work is polished.
That liberation feels good all the time.
That the absence of struggle is a sign you’re “doing it right.”
But oh sacred one; liberation is not always pretty.
It’s not always soft.
It’s not always graceful.
Sometimes, it’s a storm.
A rupture.
A (w)holy undoing.
And it needs to be. Because systems built on domination do not crumble quietly.
Some of you experienced that during the 100 days of Community. There was an awakening that stirred in your soul, a knowing that unfolded, and truths that broke through the veneer of all the “good works” you had been doing. In those moments, you had to sit, process, and allow yourself to acknowledge the truth, without shame, simply information on what may be the next steps for you on this personal and collective journey to liberation.
Liberation is Not a Vibe — It’s a Process
When things feel messy…relationships shift, jobs become unbearable, grief surfaces, conflict arises; it doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong.
It might mean something is finally right.
That your spirit no longer fits in the container it was forced into.
That the masks are cracking.
That the old strategies aren’t working because they were survival tools, not liberation tools.
This is the work.
Liberation is not what happens after the storm.
Liberation is how you learn to breathe within it.
Nature Doesn’t Shame the Storm
Let’s (re)member what is always (re)membering:
The ocean does not apologize for its tides.
The soil is not shamed for turning.
The tree doesn’t feel guilty when it breaks in the wind…it bends, it weathers, it sheds.
And afterward, new growth.
You are not meant to be unshakable.
You are meant to be alive.
If You’re in the Storm Right Now…
Pause.
Place a hand over your heart.
And repeat:
“This is not the end of my becoming. This is the turning. The composting. The truth-telling.”
Your rage is holy.
Your grief is sacred.
Your overwhelm is a signal, not a shortcoming.
You are not failing. You are feeling.
And that is a sign you are still connected to your humanity, not detached from it.
Want to Go Deeper Into the Work?
Every Monday, we offer these free reflections to root you in truth and tenderness.
But what lives behind the paywall is deeper medicine; designed for those ready to embody the work.
As a paid subscriber, you receive:
✨ Liberation Lessons every Saturday
✨ Midweek somatic practices + journal prompts
✨ Deep-dive reflections using the R.O.O.T.S. Method™ and LIBERATE Framework™
✨ Access to community healing tools and rituals
✨ First invitations to offerings like Cinema & Conjure and the Decolonization Pathway
This is not just content: it’s a container. A space to be held while unlearning and unbecoming. A space to (re)member yourself back to wholeness.
$8/month • $80/year • $120/year equity partner
Scholarships always available → Scholarships@DesireeBStephens.com
Because we don’t do this work alone.
We do it in community, in cycles, and in rhythm.
Why This Is Liberation Work (Yes—Even When It’s Personal)
I know some people may be wondering:
What does talking about storms and softness, nervous systems and nourishment… have to do with anti-racism? With decolonization? With dismantling white supremacy?
And here’s the truth:
Everything.
Because the systems we are trying to dismantle were not just built outside of us—they were built inside us.
We were taught to override our bodies.
To earn our worth.
To suppress our rage.
To keep the peace.
To call exhaustion commitment.
To call silence safety.
That is white supremacy culture.
That is capitalism.
That is patriarchy, colonialism, ableism.
Living in our bones, our calendars, our self-concept.
So when I say “trust the process,”
I’m not inviting you to bypass the work.
I’m inviting you to become the work.
To deconstruct it inside you—so you stop reenacting it around you.
Because anti-racism that only lives in your intellect but not in your embodiment…
Is performative.
Because “solidarity” that requires you to disconnect from yourself…
Is hollow.
Because DEI policies without a trauma-informed, healing-centered, whole-self foundation…
Replicate the harm they claim to disrupt.
This is why I do the work the way I do.
Not just with frameworks and facts (though we have those).
But with breathwork and body wisdom. With grief and community. With ritual and rhythm. With nature as our mirror.
Because if you want to dismantle supremacy culture—you have to stop living like it.
You have to stop sacrificing your nervous system in the name of the movement.
You have to stop replicating domination in your parenting, your relationships, your workplace, your activism.
You have to reclaim your rest, your boundaries, your softness, your no.
This is liberation work. This is decolonization. This is anti-oppression.
And if it feels tender? That’s right on time.
Because whiteness taught you to numb.
Empire taught you to hustle.
Patriarchy taught you to disappear.
And we’re unlearning all of it—together.
Owning What the Storm Reveals
This week, we shift from simply witnessing the storm to owning our response within it.
Not in the spirit of shame, but in the spirit of sacred reclamation.
To own means to stand in our truth with tenderness.
To name our patterns without judgment.
To choose what we will no longer perform, pretend, or postpone.
Because healing doesn’t just ask us to see; it asks us to respond. It asks us to root into a deeper level of self-honesty and responsibility.
This is the third step in the R.O.O.T.S. Method™:
Reflect: What have I internalized?
Observe: Where is that showing up?
Own: What part of it is mine to name, shift, and reclaim?
And from here, we’ll soon move toward:
Tether: What values or truths will I anchor in?
Set: What boundaries and practices will protect that growth?
So as we move through this week, I invite you to own (not just your labor or your impact) but your tender humanity.
To say:
“This is a belief I inherited—and now I choose differently.”
“This is a story I’ve been performing—and I’m ready to rewrite it.”
“This is mine to carry—and this is not.”
Let this be the week you reclaim your wholeness, not just your hustle.
Let this be the week you own your liberation with softness and strength.
Practice Your Praxis: Actionable Steps to Own
Self: Sacred Accountability Without Shame
Affirm What’s Yours… And What Isn’t. Write two lists:
“What I’ve been carrying that’s not mine.”
“What I now choose to take sacred responsibility for.”
Stop Abandoning Yourself Mid-Storm. When chaos arises, ask:
“What does the most rooted version of me need right now?” Then give it to yourself without delay or justification.Make One Healing Promise to Yourself. Write it. Speak it. Keep it.
“I’m not waiting to be rescued. I’m showing up for me now.”
Home: Ownership in Relationships, Not Control
Own Your Needs Without Guilt. Say out loud to someone you trust:
“Here’s something I’ve been pretending is okay, but it’s not.”Repair What Needs Repair. Name a rupture (even a subtle one) and gently initiate a healing conversation.
Redefine What You’re Modeling. Ask: “If someone I loved watched me this week, what would they learn about self-worth and boundaries?”
“Ownership is a form of care.”
Work: Reclaiming Influence Without Performing
Own Where You’re Overperforming. Name one task, tone, or performance you use to gain approval. Then lovingly step back.
Speak From the Storm. Tell your team or colleagues how you’re actually doing—not to be rescued, but to be real.
Take Up Space With Intention. Reclaim your calendar. Block time for recalibration, not just output.
“My peace is a priority.” Caption: “Rest is not a reward. It’s a requirement.”
Journal Prompts for the Week
What truth have I been avoiding, and what becomes possible when I own it?
Where have I been pretending something doesn't hurt?
What boundary, need, or truth is waiting to be reclaimed by me?
Who am I when I stop performing for approval and start standing in alignment?
Somatic Practice: “The Mirror & the Mountain”
You’ll need: A quiet space and a mirror.
Stand or sit before the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes.
Inhale — “I am not a performance.”
Exhale — “I am allowed to be fully seen.”
Place your hand over your heart.
Inhale — “I own my story.”
Exhale — “And I’m no longer abandoning myself to make others comfortable.”
Repeat until your breath softens. Let your reflection feel like recognition, not rehearsal.
Resources & Tools for Your Liberation
Because we are not meant to walk this path alone, here are offerings to support you in your (re)membering:
📘 The 15 Pillars of Supremacy Culture [Free Ebook]
Understand the systems within us and around us so you can begin dismantling them with clarity and care.
→ Download here
🛠️ Creating Healthy Boundaries Workbook
If the storm has revealed your overextension, start here. A workbook to help you build boundaries with integrity, not shame.
→ Get the workbook
📿 The Decolonization Pathway (Waitlist Open)
A year-long journey of whole-self healing, ancestral reconnection, and community-based transformation.
→ Join the waitlist
🎥 Cinema & Conjure (with Lady Speech Sankofa)
Film as ritual. Discussion as ceremony. Healing through image, history, and community wisdom.
→ RSVP here
🎶 May Liberation Playlist
Songs to anchor you when the storm hits. Let music carry what your nervous system cannot hold alone.
→ Listen on Spotify
In Closing: The Storm Is Sacred
You are not behind.
You are not too much.
You are not failing.
You are becoming.
You are unraveling the parts that were never yours to hold.
You are choosing to heal—not to be good, but to be free.
Let the storm move through.
Let the mess speak.
Let the wind clear what’s no longer rooted in truth.
Because this right here—this breath, this pause, this sacred noticing—is the work.
The work I offer through Liberation Education is not surface-level change.
It’s not about checking boxes or saying the right thing at the right time.
It is about dismantling supremacy culture from the inside out—
especially the 15 pillars that shape how we labor, love, parent, produce, and pretend.
My approach is ancestral.
It honors the wisdom that lived in our bones long before oppression told us who to be.
It trusts that liberation isn’t something we perform—it’s something we remember.
It’s not a race. It’s a return.
Decolonization is the journey back—
Back to self.
Back to truth.
Back to the body.
Back to the earth.
Back to community.
Back to what is sacred.
If something in this lands in your body, if it feels familiar—like a memory you didn’t know you were missing—
trust it.
Let it guide you home.
I am not here as your authority.
I am here as a guide. A witness. A weaver.
I am so deeply grateful for that role.
And you? You are not here to survive this world.
You are here to reshape it—starting with your own liberation.
You are still sacred—even when it’s loud.
Especially when it’s loud.
And remember:
Blooming doesn’t mean there was no breaking.
It means you rose, anyway.
With you in every storm
In solidarity and liberation,
Desireé B. Stephens, CPS-P
Educator | Counselor | Community Builder
Founder, Make Shi(f)t Happen
New Agreements, New Systems, Deeper Connections
Writer of Liberation Education
Where Reflection Meets Transformation
I think I wrote two pages of notes from this piece so I can actually journal about it later because I was teary reading this (in a healing way).
Thank you for your reminders. Thank you for your important work.
"If something in this lands in your body, if it feels familiar—like a memory you didn’t know you were missing—trust it." From the first time I read Desiree's words, this is exactly how I felt, as if the words were landing in my body. I am incredibly grateful! She has a true gift!