Introduction:
In a world where education is increasingly recognized as a battleground for systemic reform, the conversations we hold around it are crucial. Recently, I sat down with Dr. Kimberly Douglass to discuss the challenges we face in navigating an education system that often operates within the carceral confines of reward and punishment, and how it impacts both neurodiverse children and their families. We reflected on the importance of creating personalized, holistic education approaches and rethinking success beyond the standard measures. Our conversation explored how these ideas could lead to building parallel systems within existing structures and what it takes to envision a world that nurtures rather than confines.
The Carceral Nature of Modern Education Systems
As we delved into the topic of schools and institutions that claim progressiveness, we couldn’t ignore the carceral frameworks they operate within. Schools, even those with the best intentions, often rely on reward-and-punishment models to manage students, especially neurodiverse children. These models, deeply rooted in supremacy culture, enforce conformity and compliance, stifling creativity and individuality.
Dr. Douglass and I discussed how these systems often result in burnout for teachers and create environments where students, particularly those who don’t conform to the mold, are left behind. Even progressive schools that offer accommodations can become complacent, failing to recognize the deeper systemic issues they’re part of. The need to go beyond progressiveness and truly understand the structures that govern these institutions is vital to creating sustainable change.
Homeschooling and Neurodivergence: A Personal Approach
As a mother of neurodiverse children, I shared my experiences with homeschooling and how traditional education systems often fail to meet the needs of children like mine. Dr. Douglass and I spoke about the importance of building a curriculum that focuses on life skills, not just academic basics. The goal is to equip children to construct a life for themselves, fostering independence and self-sufficiency.
We also touched on how transitions between teachers and schools can be especially challenging for neurodiverse children, who often require consistency and stability to thrive. In traditional schooling environments, the system’s emphasis on standardized testing and performance often overlooks the unique needs of these children. For us, homeschooling provides an opportunity to create a learning environment where curiosity, emotional understanding, and self-advocacy are prioritized.
Decolonizing Parenting and Shifting Focus
One of the central themes of our conversation was the need to decolonize both education and parenting. Decolonizing parenting, in this context, means rejecting societal norms that value productivity over well-being, and instead, creating environments that foster emotional safety, autonomy, and critical thinking. It’s about understanding that children’s resistance to rigid systems is often an act of autonomy and recognizing that their emotional and educational needs go far beyond the school’s prescribed methods of “success.”
We talked about how dismantling these systems in our homes sets a foundation for broader societal change. When we empower children to advocate for themselves and nurture their emotional well-being, we’re building resilience that can extend to their future interactions with society. Dr. Douglass and I both agreed that true decolonization requires us to redefine what success looks like—not in terms of academic achievements, but in the holistic development of our children as individuals.
Redefining Success: Breaking Free from the “Black Excellence” Narrative
Another critical point we discussed was the harmful narrative of "Black excellence." While celebrating Black achievement is important, the pressure to constantly excel according to the standards set by white supremacy culture is damaging. It fosters burnout and imposes expectations that often disregard the mental health and well-being of Black individuals. Dr. Douglass and I agreed that it’s time to redefine success on our terms—terms that prioritize healing, growth, and balance over the relentless pursuit of external validation.
By reframing success, we allow ourselves and our children to break free from the chains of a system that commodifies Black bodies and talents, instead cultivating environments where authenticity and wholeness are at the forefront.
Toward a More Equitable Future: Parallel Systems and Intergenerational Healing
Our conversation naturally led to envisioning what a future beyond the capitalist, carceral system could look like. Could we build parallel systems—like intentional communities, tiny home villages, or barter economies—that allow us to operate outside of oppressive structures? Dr. Douglass and I believe it’s possible, and that much of this vision begins with how we parent, educate, and support one another.
We also discussed the impact of intergenerational trauma on our experiences as parents, especially in relation to neurodiverse children. Understanding our parents’ experiences and the trauma passed down through generations is key to breaking cycles of harm. By creating nurturing environments in our homes and communities, we can begin to heal not just ourselves, but future generations.
Looking Forward: Continuing the Work
As Dr. Douglass and I move forward with our respective work—her continuing to research and write about decolonizing practices, and myself developing new curricula for neurodiverse children—we are committed to supporting each other in this journey. We also plan to deepen our exploration of peer support systems, both as certified peer specialists and as advocates for parents navigating these complex educational and social landscapes.
This work is ongoing, and it requires a willingness to challenge not only the systems that oppress us but also the internalized beliefs that keep us confined. As we continue to build a world where education is liberatory, parenting is decolonial, and communities are supportive, we hope to inspire others to join us in reimagining what’s possible.
Conclusion: Building New Paths
The conversation with Dr. Douglass reaffirmed the importance of creating new paths for both children and parents. It’s clear that the current systems of education and parenting, rooted in reward and punishment, are not equipped to support the holistic growth of children—especially neurodiverse children. By decolonizing these spaces, we can build an education system that nurtures individuality, creativity, and emotional well-being.
The future is one where we, as parents, educators, and community members, are no longer bound by the limitations of a capitalist, carceral system. Instead, we’re building parallel systems of care and support, and in doing so, laying the foundation for a more equitable world.
Invitation to Join the Movement:
If you're ready to dive deeper into decolonizing parenting and education, I invite you to join my Parenting for Liberation Cohort. Together, we’ll explore the intersections of liberation, education, and community building, equipping you with tools to raise liberated children who thrive outside of oppressive systems.
In addition, mark your calendars for the upcoming Supernova Parenting Summit, where we’ll gather to discuss holistic, decolonial approaches to parenting and education with leading voices in the movement. You’ll gain insight, support, and practical strategies for transforming your approach to parenting in ways that foster emotional well-being and autonomy in your children.
To keep receiving resources and conversations like this, I also encourage you to become a paid subscriber to the Liberation Education newsletter. Your support ensures that these critical conversations continue, and you create equity to ensure resources remain accessible.
In solidarity and liberation,
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