Self-Worth and the Right to Want More
Releasing guilt, shame, and scarcity in our desires.
🌬️ Grounding Invitation
Before we begin, find your breath.
Loosen your jaw. Rest your shoulders.
Let your belly soften.
Place both feet on the floor—or root into wherever you are.
Take a slow inhale through the nose…
Hold…
And exhale gently through the mouth.
Feel your body.
Feel your heartbeat.
Feel your presence.
Now, let’s root into this truth:
You were worthy the moment you arrived.
You don’t have to earn it.
You never did.
Supremacy Culture Disconnects Us to Control Us
Supremacy culture doesn’t just oppress people through law or violence—it does it through disconnection.
It disconnects us from:
Self — so we seek our worth in performance
Land — so we believe we must buy back what already belonged to us
Community — so we become easier to manipulate alone than powerful together
And then it teaches us to tie our worth to the very systems that harm us:
Examples of Weaponized Worth in Oppressive Systems:
Black women: Taught we’re only worthy if we are caretakers, strong, self-sacrificing, and emotionally available to everyone but ourselves.
Trans folks: Pressured to align with cisnormative beauty and gender expression in order to be seen as "real," "professional," or "safe."
Black men & white men: Conditioned to equate worth with financial provision, emotional suppression, and dominance—leading to unprocessed grief and rage.
Disabled folks: Told their value is tied to productivity or "overcoming" their disabilities, instead of being honored as inherently whole.
Fat folks: Taught their worth must be earned through shrinking, denying, and erasing the body they live in.
Immigrant families: Praised only for their labor, obedience, and silence—dehumanized when they ask for rest, rights, or recognition.
Neurodivergent folks: Expected to mask, conform, and perform like systems were designed for them—then punished when they cannot.
And across all groups, Capitalism whispers:
“You’re only valuable if you produce, achieve, or suffer for it.”
These are lies dressed up as expectations.
And our liberation begins when we stop calling them values.
Desire as Resistance
Wanting is not selfish.
It is sacred.
To desire something different—for your body, your rest, your relationships, your work, your life—is a radical act in a world that conditions us to settle.
We are taught to be grateful for crumbs.
To silence our longing.
To deny ourselves softness, space, pleasure, peace—until we’ve earned it through enough suffering.
And when we do speak our desires?
We are often met with shame.
“Who do you think you are?”
“You should be grateful for what you have.”
“That’s not realistic.”
“People have it worse.”
“That’s selfish.”
“You’re asking for too much.”
These are not just words.
They are tools of control, more thought-terminating cliches.
They’re how supremacy culture polices dreaming.
They’re how capitalism keeps us compliant.
They’re how trauma teaches us that desire is dangerous.
Because desire is a threat—to systems, not to souls.
Desire is the spark before revolution.
It’s the knowing that something else is possible.
It’s the breath before the boundary.
The ache that says: “I was not made for this.”
And so, we learn to shrink it.
To only desire what seems “reasonable.”
To only name needs that don’t disrupt anyone else.
To only want quietly—if at all.
But here’s the sacred truth:
Desire is not excess. It’s evidence.
It’s proof that you’re still connected to your aliveness.
Wanting more is not the opposite of gratitude.
Wanting more is not a betrayal of your ancestors.
Wanting more is not a sign of entitlement.
It is a return to yourself.
The ancestors who were forced to dream in silence now whisper through your longing.
Keep going. Want louder. Dream bigger. Stretch beyond survival.
Because people who want more cannot be managed.
People who remember their worth are harder to manipulate.
And people who give themselves permission to dream—without shame, without apology—are the ones who will rebuild this world.
The truth is: your desires are not the problem. They are the path.
But unlearning the shame around wanting?
Reclaiming self-worth as sacred, not situational?
That’s deep work. Ancestral work. Collective work.
And we’re doing it—together.
To read the rest of this offering, I lovingly invite you to become a paid subscriber to Liberation Education.
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And if cost is a barrier, scholarships are always available: scholarships@desireebstephens.com
Let’s reclaim our right to want.
To rest. To dream.
To know our worth—not because of what we do, but because of who we are.
You are already worthy.
Let’s go deeper.