The Cost of Telling the Truth in Whitewashed Spaces
When truth-telling means exile, and why it’s still worth it.
“The truth will set you free…but it might get you fired first.”
Or unfriended.
Or silenced.
Or labeled “too much.”
Or pushed out of the space you once called safe.
Let’s tell the truth about telling the truth.
Because this world, especially whitewashed spaces, spiritual bypassing circles, and progressive-yet-fragile workplaces, says it wants truth.
But what they mean is their version of the truth.
What they want is the toned-down truth.
The well-packaged truth.
The kind that doesn’t raise voices, disturb harmony, or require anyone to confront their comfort.
But let me say this:
If your truth only fits in a room when it’s dressed like silence, it’s not the room, it’s the cage.
Word Is Born, Even When It Costs You
This month, we are reclaiming language.
We’re unlearning obedience.
We’re speaking worlds into being, the kind of worlds where we don’t have to dilute ourselves to be heard.
And in that energy, we must ask:
What does it cost to tell the truth in spaces that weren’t built to hold it?
The cost might be:
Your job
Your friend group
Your comfort
Your perceived professionalism
Your “likability”
But you know what else it costs?
Your breath if you don’t.
Your body if you don’t.
Your spirit if you don’t.
Because whitewashed spaces demand that we make ourselves small to survive.
But shrinking isn’t safety, it’s surrender.
Thought-Terminating Clichés: The Script of Suppression
Let’s call it what it is:
These spaces don’t protect peace, they protect power.
And they do it with phrases like:
“Let’s agree to disagree.”
“That’s not the appropriate time or place.”
“You’re being divisive.”
“Can’t we focus on the positive?”
“You’re making this about race again.”
“You’re just too emotional.”
“That’s not how we do things here.”
These are not neutral statements.
They are linguistic forcefields designed to uphold the status quo.
They shut down the fire before it can spark change.
They redirect the spotlight off of harm and onto tone.
They make you the problem instead of the problem being… the problem.
These phrases are not just annoying.
They are weapons of empire dressed in professional polish.
When They Ask You to Be Peaceful, They Mean Silent
Let’s be clear:
Peace is not the absence of tension.
It is the presence of truth, held with care.
And too often, people confuse silence with maturity.
They confuse calmness with correctness.
They confuse emotional regulation with spiritual superiority.
But listen, there is nothing mature about swallowing what needs to be said.
There is nothing holy about being polite while people perish.
And there is nothing revolutionary about peace that protects oppression.
Sacred Truth-Telling Is Risky — and Righteous
Yes, you might lose people.
Yes, it might be awkward.
Yes, it might break the illusion.
Yes, it might cost you invitations.
Yes, it might leave you alone in the room.
But here’s what you gain:
🔥 Your breath back.
🔥 Your nervous system back.
🔥 Your ancestors’ respect.
🔥 Your integrity.
🔥 Your self-trust.
🔥 Your capacity to create new rooms that never require your erasure.
Because divine one, you were never meant to be tolerated, you were meant to be celebrated, and heard!
And your truth doesn’t need a permission slip.
It needs a witness.
It needs a container.
It needs you, in your full, unsoftened, sacred voice.
Sacred Story Time
I remember being in a meeting where everything in my body was screaming.
The gaslighting was layered. The harm was subtle. The silence in the room was violent.
I paused.
I could’ve softened it.
I could’ve stayed quiet.
I could’ve waited until “a better time.”
But I didn’t.
I spoke. With clarity. With heat. With heart.
And I was met with… nothing.
Some nods. Some avoidance. Some discomfort so thick you could chew it.
But that moment?
That was the day I stopped rehearsing scripts that weren’t mine.
That was the day I honored my body over their hierarchy.
That was the day I became dangerous, not because I was wrong, but because I refused to lie.
The Language of Liberation Is Not Always Comfortable
The language of liberation sounds like:
🌬️“That’s not okay.”
🌬️“I won’t be complicit.”
🌬️“This conversation needs to be had.”
🌬️“I choose integrity over harmony.”
🌬️“No.”
It is honest.
It is embodied.
It is grounded.
It is not here to convince, it’s here to clarify.
Biomimicry + Language: What Nature Teaches Us
Nature doesn’t lie.
When the storm comes, it doesn’t whisper.
When the volcano erupts, it doesn’t explain.
When the tree dies, it doesn’t ask for permission.
Truth-telling is a natural force; it clears, it cleanses, it carves space for renewal.
So why are we so afraid of being loud when the Earth has always spoken in tremble and thunder?
Let your truth be elemental. Let it be sacred. Let it be spoken without apology.
Practice Your Praxis
Self:
Write down one time you softened or silenced your truth to keep the peace. Then write what you wish you had said. Let your body feel the clarity. Say it aloud if you need to.
Home:
Choose one thought-terminating cliché you’ve heard in your family or chosen family. Replace it with a liberatory phrase like:
Instead of: “Let’s not talk about that right now.”
Try: “Let’s create space for this truth, even if it’s uncomfortable.”
Work/Community:
Name the discomfort. Out loud. Try:
“I know this might disrupt the flow, but silence here feels harmful. Can we pause and name what’s not being said?”
Reflection Questions
Where have I traded truth for acceptance?
What phrase have I used that kept the peace but cost my integrity?
What does my liberated voice sound like?
What kind of spaces do I want to build that center truth, not just tone?
Final Word: You Are Not Too Much — You Are Too Awake
Telling the truth might get you side-eyed, silenced, or shoved to the margins.
But it will also get you free.
Because word is born — and when you speak it, even if your voice shakes, even if you speak alone, you are birthing a world where truth is not a liability… it’s a legacy.
Stay rooted. Stay honest. Stay disruptive.
Your voice is not the problem.
It’s the prophecy.
Tune into todays podcast episode of Let’s Have the Conversation: Truth-Telling in Spaces That Can’t Hold You
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Let’s build the world our spirits deserve, one word, one breath, one sacred refusal at a time.
In solidarity and liberation,
Desireé B. Stephens, CPS-P
Educator | Counselor | Community Builder
Founder, Make Shi(f)t Happen
Writer of Liberation Education
Where Reflection Meets Transformation
This really resonates with me! And another phrase I have heard A LOT right now “you’re just so passionate” 🙄 it is enraging and it helps me know they cannot handle truth and I’m learning to be ok with that and go out my energy into something that will benefit me, my community, or is welcomed!