The Softness of Strength: Embracing Rest as Resistance

How rest fuels transformation & why slowing down is an act of liberation

Good morning,

Before we begin, I invite you to pause. Take a breath. Unclench your jaw. Roll your shoulders back. Notice what your body is holding.

And now, ask yourself: When was the last time I truly rested?

Not just sleep. Not just zoning out in front of a screen. But deep, restorative, unapologetic rest.

If you hesitated, if you can’t quite remember, you are not alone.

Rest has been stolen from us—rebranded as laziness, something we must earn, something we should feel guilty for taking. Supremacy culture teaches us that our worth is measured by what we produce, that slowing down is dangerous, that stillness means we are falling behind.

But what if we claimed rest back as our birthright?

What if we stopped seeing rest as an indulgence and instead as a revolutionary act of reclamation?

Because here is the truth: Rest is resistance. Rest is power. Rest is necessary for liberation.

And if we are truly releasing what no longer serves us, as we explored earlier this week, we must also release the idea that we have to grind ourselves into the ground to be worthy.

Let’s talk about how slowing down is not just an act of self-care—it is an act of defiance.

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The Sweetness of Doing Nothing: A Lesson in Rest

I used to believe rest was something I had to earn. That I had to check every box, complete every task, be enough before I could allow myself to slow down.

But rest is not transactional.

There’s a phrase Italians use: “Dolce far niente”—the sweetness of doing nothing.

Not idleness. Not wasted time. But the presence of being fully alive in the moment.

I remember a day of just sitting, coffee in hand, watching people talk, laugh, simply exist in the sun. No one was rushing. No one was checking their emails while pretending to be present. No one was apologizing for simply being.

And I remember thinking: What would it feel like to live like this?

To let rest be a part of life, not just something squeezed in between the exhaustion?

Of course, urgency grabbed me by the throat again. Because the way our society is structured, rest is not built in. It has to be fought for.

And that fight starts with understanding how much time we actually have.

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The Myth of 24 Hours: How Supremacy Culture Steals Rest

We are told that we all have the same 24 hours in a day.

But do we?

Let’s break that down for someone with relative advantages in the system:

• 8 hours for work (if you’re lucky enough to have a job that doesn’t demand more)

• 1 hour commuting (more in many cities)

• 7 hours of sleep (if we’re prioritizing rest)

• 1-2 hours of caregiving (for children, elders, partners, or even ourselves)

• 1-2 hours for meal prep, eating, and household tasks

How much time does that actually leave for true rest?

Maybe one or two hours—on a good day.

And yet, we are told that if we are tired, if we are burnt out, if we are struggling to balance it all, it is our fault. That we simply need to “manage our time better.”

But the system is designed to keep us depleted.

And this is only looking at someone who has access to reliable transportation, childcare, and a steady job. What happens when those things are not guaranteed?

For those navigating poverty, disability, systemic racism, and other forms of oppression, time shrinks even further.

• Public transportation can turn a 20-minute commute into a two-hour ordeal.

• Lack of affordable childcare means parents are constantly scrambling for coverage—or working around their kids.

• Disabled people face the extra labor of navigating inaccessible systems, medical care, and unpredictable energy levels.

• Those in low-wage jobs often work multiple shifts or side gigs just to survive.

And capitalism does not care. The demand to be productive, to push through exhaustion, to keep grinding, remains the same.

Because a rested person is a dangerous person.

A rested person can think critically.
A rested person can imagine a different way of living.
A rested person can resist.

Which is why rest must be reclaimed as a liberatory practice.

Rest is not just about personal well-being—it is about disrupting a system that thrives on our collective exhaustion. And that means we must start where we can, however small, however imperfect.

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The Pillars of Supremacy Culture That Make Rest Feel Impossible

If we struggle to slow down, it’s not because we’re weak-willed. It’s because we’ve been conditioned to believe rest is not for us.

Let’s name the pillars of supremacy culture that keep us trapped in exhaustion:

• Sense of Urgency – The belief that everything must happen now, leaving no space for reflection or rest.

• Perfectionism – The idea that we must always be striving for an unattainable ideal before we “deserve” rest.

• Individualism – The pressure to handle everything alone, making it hard to delegate or lean on community.

• Right to Comfort – The idea that discomfort is to be avoided rather than moved through. Rest often requires confronting our discomfort around not doing.

• Progress is Bigger, More – The belief that we must always be expanding, growing, achieving—never just being.

When we rest, we dismantle these pillars. When we rest, we tell supremacy culture: You do not own me. And that is why rest is revolutionary. You can learn more about understanding and dismantling these pillars here.

Rest Is Not a Reward—It Is a Right

How often do you tell yourself:

• I’ll rest when I’ve finished everything on my to-do list.

• I just need to work a little harder, then I can slow down.

• I’ll take a break after I prove myself.

But here’s the thing: There will always be more to do. The goalposts will always move. The system is designed that way—to keep us running, depleted, always trying to catch up.

Remember: a rested person is a dangerous person.

And that is exactly what supremacy culture does not want.

When we deny ourselves rest, we are participating in our own oppression. We are upholding the same systems we are trying to dismantle. We are carrying the values of supremacy culture in our own bodies.

So, let’s be clear: Rest is not laziness. Rest is resistance. Rest is an act of power.

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The Softness of Strength: What We’ve Been Taught vs. The Truth

We have been conditioned to equate strength with endurance—with pushing through, with doing more, with carrying heavy burdens without complaint.

But what if strength also looked like knowing when to put things down?

Supremacy culture tells us:

• Strength means never stopping.

• Strength means enduring pain without complaint.

• Strength means sacrificing ourselves for the sake of others.

But the truth is:

• Rest is strength. Knowing when to pause takes courage.

• Listening to our bodies is strength. Trusting ourselves is radical.

• Softness is strength. It is a refusal to let the world harden us beyond repair.

The demand for constant productivity is not neutral. It is deeply tied to capitalism, white supremacy, and patriarchy.

Let’s name it plainly:

• Enslaved people were denied rest because their worth was reduced to their labor.

• Factory workers during industrialization were denied rest to maximize profit.

• Mothers, caregivers, and women of color are still denied rest today—expected to give endlessly without question.

Exhaustion is not just an unfortunate side effect of modern life—it is an intentional tool of control.

Because when people are exhausted, they are easier to manipulate.
When people are exhausted, they don’t have the energy to resist.
When people are exhausted, they don’t have the capacity to imagine something different.

And that is why choosing rest is a radical act.

It is saying: I will not be a machine. I am a person. I deserve slowness, softness, ease.

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This reflection is just the beginning. Paid subscribers receive exclusive deep dives, guided practices, and tools to integrate this work into daily life.

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👉🏾 Join the movement. Reclaim your rest.