WEEK ONE: REST
Why rest feels so uncomfortable and what our nervous systems are trying to tell us A July reflection for paid subscribers • Season of Rest • Reset • Resist
Last week I gave myself permission to lie down in the middle of the afternoon.
Not because I had finished everything.
Not because I had earned it.
Simply because my body asked.
And do you know what happened?
Nothing peaceful.
My mind started running through lists. My chest tightened. My hands wanted a phone, a task, a reason. Some part of me kept whispering that I was falling behind, that someone somewhere was disappointed, that lying still was dangerous.
I was resting.
And my body was bracing.
If you have ever tried to rest and felt worse instead of better, I want you to know something before we go any further.
You are not broken.
You are not bad at rest.
Your nervous system is telling the truth about where it has been.
What the discomfort is actually saying
Here is what supremacy culture never taught us.
Rest is not just an activity. Rest is a state the nervous system has to feel safe enough to enter.
And for many of us, safety has been rare.
If you grew up in a home where stillness meant trouble was coming...
If you learned that your value depended on being useful...
If you have spent years in workplaces where slowing down made you a target...
If you live in a body this world was not built to accommodate...
Then your nervous system did exactly what nervous systems do. It adapted. It learned to stay ready. It learned that vigilance was survival and motion was protection.
So when you finally stop moving, your body does not immediately understand that the danger has passed.
It asks: Are you sure?
That restlessness you feel when you try to pause?
That is not laziness fighting discipline.
That is a survival strategy meeting an unfamiliar invitation.
The discomfort is not a sign that rest is wrong for you.
The discomfort is information.
🌬️ A somatic pause
Before we go further, let’s practice what we’re naming.
Right now, wherever you are reading this, pause.
Let your shoulders drop away from your ears.
Unclench your jaw.
Take one slow breath in. Let the exhale be longer than the inhale.
Now notice: what did your body do while you were reading about rest?
Did something tighten?
Did something soften?
Did some part of you start planning how to use this information?
Whatever you found, you do not need to change it.
You just needed to meet it.
That noticing is the work. Everything else this week builds from here.
When you’re ready, continue.
The pillar we are dismantling
This week we sit with Sense of Urgency, one of the pillars of supremacy culture we named in the seasonal opening.
Sense of Urgency tells us everything must happen immediately.
It tells us pausing is falling behind.
It tells us the deadline matters more than the body meeting it.
And here is the part I need you to hear.
Urgency is not just around us. It is in us. It lives in the shallow breath, the clenched jaw, the inability to sit through a quiet moment without reaching for something.
We internalized it because we had to.
We do not have to keep it
.
The rest of this reflection is for paid subscribers
Behind this line: the week’s somatic practice, a word for my disabled sibs, journal prompts, and Practice Your Praxis.
This is the reciprocity that keeps Liberation Education sustainable.
$10 a month. $100 a year. $150 a year as an Equity Partner — which helps sustain access by funding scholarships for community members who need them.
And if cost is the barrier, you are not excluded here. Scholarships are available at scholarships@desireebstephens.com. No proof required. No story owed. Just ask.
Because rest should not be a luxury good. And neither should learning how to practice it.
