I think this is a great question. To me, healthy conflict contributes to growth for all involved and this really starts with how "conflict" is defined. At the foundation it's "opposing action." This could run the spectrum from standing despite gravity, to children argueing with parents, to different opinions, to war- and so how "healthy" conflict is or isn't is also a wide spectrum.
For example, picture a family deciding what restaurant to eat at. Someone suggests the usual place, 2 and 3 agree, but 4 disagrees. They want to try a new place they just heard about and they say so. This is a conflicting opinion. Now there's an opportunity to discuss it. Maybe 1 just wants the usual, 2 doesn't really care, and 3 didn't think of it before, but the new place actually sounds good! So, based on the majority, they try the new place and it turns out everyone likes it (even 1).
If 4 had never said anything (avoiding conflict), they never would have found this awesome new restaurant. Even worse, while most didn't know what they were missing, 4 always would (their opinion is never heard).
This topic really hit home with me. I went from having a strong sense of community to losing the connections with everyone I knew. I rebuilt different communities, but they eventually fell apart. Eventually, I began looking at all relationships as transactional; What's in it for me? The despair of isolation and individualism sent me spiraling.
When the opportunity to relocate to live with my adult daughter arose, I took it. I have a familial community now, but desire a larger and more diverse community. I know that I cannot go through life alone. I don't want to.
Building a community where I live is going to be challenging. I live in a very small town pro-trump area. People are not inviting. I'm am outsider who doesn't think or believe like the majority here does. And they talk!
Healthy Conflict is something we need to talk about, what does that even look like?
I think this is a great question. To me, healthy conflict contributes to growth for all involved and this really starts with how "conflict" is defined. At the foundation it's "opposing action." This could run the spectrum from standing despite gravity, to children argueing with parents, to different opinions, to war- and so how "healthy" conflict is or isn't is also a wide spectrum.
For example, picture a family deciding what restaurant to eat at. Someone suggests the usual place, 2 and 3 agree, but 4 disagrees. They want to try a new place they just heard about and they say so. This is a conflicting opinion. Now there's an opportunity to discuss it. Maybe 1 just wants the usual, 2 doesn't really care, and 3 didn't think of it before, but the new place actually sounds good! So, based on the majority, they try the new place and it turns out everyone likes it (even 1).
If 4 had never said anything (avoiding conflict), they never would have found this awesome new restaurant. Even worse, while most didn't know what they were missing, 4 always would (their opinion is never heard).
This topic really hit home with me. I went from having a strong sense of community to losing the connections with everyone I knew. I rebuilt different communities, but they eventually fell apart. Eventually, I began looking at all relationships as transactional; What's in it for me? The despair of isolation and individualism sent me spiraling.
When the opportunity to relocate to live with my adult daughter arose, I took it. I have a familial community now, but desire a larger and more diverse community. I know that I cannot go through life alone. I don't want to.
Building a community where I live is going to be challenging. I live in a very small town pro-trump area. People are not inviting. I'm am outsider who doesn't think or believe like the majority here does. And they talk!
Thank you for this opportunity!
I'm still here! I caught day 2 live, but the got sick. Hoping to join yall again next week. I'm following along in the meantime ❤️