What if conflict wasn’t something to fear, but an invitation to grow?
That’s what we explored in Day 46 of 100 Days of Community. Conflict isn’t inherently harmful—it’s how we respond to it that determines whether it leads to harm or healing.
Too often, we’ve been conditioned to avoid conflict at all costs. We’ve been told that disagreement means division and that confrontation means aggression. But what if I told you that conflict, when approached with the right lens, could be a tool for deepening understanding, for strengthening relationships, and for dismantling supremacy culture at its root?
Today, we broke down how power dynamics, accountability, and healing intersect with conflict. We discussed why naming the power structures at play is necessary for real resolution, why communities need agreements that hold us accountable, and why we must shift our focus from “winning” to repairing and restoring.
The Role of Supremacy Culture in Conflict Avoidance
Supremacy culture conditions us to believe that conflict is inherently destructive. It teaches us to fear open disagreement because it disrupts the illusion of harmony that oppressive systems depend on. Many of the 15 Pillars of Supremacy Culture—like Perfectionism, Individualism, Power Hoarding, and Fear of Open Conflict—are directly responsible for why so many people struggle with addressing harm in meaningful ways.
Perfectionism keeps us from admitting mistakes.
Individualism makes us believe conflict is a personal failing rather than a structural issue.
Power Hoarding prevents accountability, making true resolution impossible.
Fear of Open Conflict forces people into silence instead of repair.
If we are to resolve conflict in a way that leads to justice and transformation, we must name and dismantle these pillars in our own lives, relationships, and communities.
A Tool for Understanding Conflict: The 15 Pillars of Supremacy Culture
If you haven’t already, I encourage you to download my pay-what-you-can ebook:
📖 Dismantling Supremacy Culture: Understanding and Overcoming Its 15 Pillars
It comes with a visual infographic breaking down the pillars and offering a framework for liberation.
🎧 Free Preview: 3-Minute Excerpt from Day 46
What we are discussing
We hear conflict and we automatically think bad things. We should never have conflict again. But what if I told you conflict is actually about confrontation? Not in an aggressive way, but in an honest way—where we confront truth, power, and accountability. I’m not going to bring my child into a space where I know they’ll be unsafe. So before I do, I confront that situation. I ask: ‘If I bring my child here, how safe are they?’ And if the answer is anything less than ‘completely,’ then we don’t go. That’s it. That’s accountability. That’s boundaries. That’s conflict resolution through a liberation lens.
We have been programmed to avoid open conflict, but that’s just another pillar of supremacy culture. The idea that we should all just ‘get along’ without addressing harm? That’s how systems stay intact. Conflict isn’t the problem—our unwillingness to engage with it meaningfully is. And when you understand that, it changes everything.
If you’re on the fence about becoming a paid subscriber, this is your invitation to step deeper into this work with me.
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