Shame Is the Wound. Pleasure Is the Medicine.
Pleasure is often treated like a luxury—something we only get after we’ve suffered enough, sacrificed enough, survived enough. But even then, when we’ve “earned it,” we’re taught to feel guilty for receiving it.
That guilt? That shame? That’s not personal—it’s systemic.
Because supremacy culture doesn’t just disconnect us from pleasure, it teaches us to reject it, to feel dirty or selfish for wanting it. It frames joy as indulgent. It casts delight as dangerous. And it makes shame the gatekeeper—so even when we finally touch something beautiful, we recoil.
We say we’re not ready. We say we don’t deserve it. We downplay the joy, apologize for the softness, rush to get back to the grind.
But shame is the tool of disconnection.
It is the deepest betrayal of our mind-body connection.
It’s how the system teaches us to abandon ourselves.
And when we abandon pleasure, we abandon a core part of our liberation. Because you were not meant to feel bad all the time. You were not born to be productive—you were born to be whole.
On Day 67 of 100 Days of Community, we are naming pleasure as a sacred and necessary practice of liberation. Not a distraction. Not a reward. Not an indulgence.
A right. A remembering. A revolution.
Because pleasure is not a distraction from the work.
Pleasure is the reason we do the work.
"I'm not interested in being anyone's martyr. Not in my home. Not in my work. Not in my relationships." - Desireé B Stephens
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“Pleasure is a revolutionary act. If I can’t access joy, what am I building? If I don’t feel free in my body, what am I fighting for?”
In today’s conversation, we unpack the disconnect so many of us carry between our healing and our right to feel good. From shame-based religion to generational trauma and hustle culture, we were taught to earn our joy—and to question it the moment it arrives.
This micro-lesson invites us to name the root wound (shame), reclaim the medicine (pleasure), and practice showing up for joy not as a reward—but as a birthright.
Today’s Three Takeaways
Pleasure challenges the narrative of sacrifice.
Pleasure supports healing and self-discovery.
Collective pleasure creates spaces of liberation.
In the full post, I unpack:
How capitalism and supremacy culture have made us ashamed of joy
What embodied pleasure looks like in your everyday life
Community rituals, somatic practices, and joy-filled homework to reclaim your right to feel good
Need support? Scholarships are always available: scholarships@desireebstephens.com
We celebrate, not because we have to, but because we can. Come join us.
