First, Let’s Begin in Wholeness
Today we stepped into a space that asked us to hold the full spectrum—joy and ache, laughter and grief, hope and frustration.
Liberation work, real liberation work, isn’t about staying in the light. It’s about expanding your capacity to hold all of it without breaking yourself in half.
And that’s exactly what Day 88 invited us to do.
This wasn’t just a teaching. It was a reminder: you don’t have to choose between celebration and grief. You get to hold both. That’s not failure. That’s wholeness.
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“We reserve grief for the big stuff. But you get to grieve small things too.”
In this clip, I talk about spilled coffee, busted tires, and the heartbreak of everyday life—and why grief isn’t just for funerals or breaking news. If we can’t honor the small losses, we’ll never learn to truly process the big ones.
Because grief is a sacred practice. And when we stop pretending we’re “fine,” we give ourselves permission to heal.
Share this with your people and ask:
What have you grieved this week that no one saw? And what small joy can you celebrate, even if it didn’t seem “big enough”?
What We’re Learning Today
Celebration and Grief Can Coexist
We’ve been taught to choose—either you’re joyful or you’re mourning. But liberation invites both. We’re whole people with layered stories.Collective Wins Deserve Recognition
Rest is not the only rhythm—we need celebration, too. When we win, we honor that. Loudly. Tenderly. Together.Honoring Loss Is Part of Healing
Ignoring loss doesn’t make it disappear. It just buries it. When we name what’s been lost, we create space for what might be born.
Let’s Sit With the Whole Story
So many of us were taught to rush past discomfort. To clap on beat while our hearts were still breaking. To “stay positive” while we buried our sorrow under to-do lists and tight smiles.
But the truth is: our movements lose depth when we flatten our experiences.
Celebration is sacred—but only when it’s honest. And grief is holy—but only when it’s allowed to breathe.
Today, we named both.
We named what it means to honor progress without denying pain.
To celebrate survival without skipping over what it cost us.
To make room for joy without weaponizing it against grief.
This work is full of both beauty and heartbreak.
People we love will leave. Projects we gave our souls to will end.
But still—we build.
We heal.
We keep becoming.
And if we’re going to sustain this work long-term, we need a model that can hold both the champagne and the mourning cloth.
That’s not contradictory—it’s complete.
So now, let’s talk about what this looks like in practice—starting with self, then home, then the communities we’re shaping together.
Let’s Go Deeper
SELF: The Ache and the Expansion
There is an ache when we realize we’ve been complicit in systems that harm. There’s grief in waking up to how much we’ve lost—time, energy, values, connections. And there’s also celebration in knowing we get to choose differently now.
You are allowed to feel all of it.
Reflection prompts:
What have I lost that I haven’t let myself grieve?
What version of me am I celebrating today—even if no one else sees it?
What small, tender ritual can I create for my own healing?
HOME: Making Space for Real Emotion
In our homes, we often suppress feelings to maintain “peace.” But peace built on performance is just silence. Today, I shared what it looked like for my kids to see their father for the first time in months—and the layered feelings it brought. Grief for what’s no longer, joy for what is, and love for what we’re still building.
That’s family. That’s truth. That’s growth.
Try This: Start a ritual in your home where everyone can name something they’re celebrating and something they’re grieving.
Journal Prompt:
How can I model both celebration and grief for the people I love?
COMMUNITY: A Culture of Recognition and Remembrance
We can’t talk liberation without talking loss. People are killed doing this work. Organizations lose funding. Projects dissolve. We lose friends, comrades, and mentors.
And too often, we move on too quickly—trying to be “strong,” trying to keep going.
But healing doesn’t mean speed. It means sacred pause.
In the live, I shared this:
"A group removes a harmful school policy, celebrates with a block party, names the elders who didn’t live to see it—and toasts them anyway."
That’s what community looks like: holding the joy and the grief together in ceremony.
Action Steps:
Create an altar, physical or digital, for people you’ve lost in this work
Host a collective storytelling night centered on both wins and wounds
Build time into meetings for celebration and grief
Practice Your Praxis
This is where we apply what we’ve learned—not just reflect, but rebuild.
Action Steps:
Write a gratitude list and a grief list this week. Notice where they intersect.
Host a “win circle” with your team, your family, or your community. Celebrate the small stuff, too.
Make space for someone else's grief. Send a voice note. Light a candle. Just hold space.
Journal Prompts:
Where am I still trying to "bounce back" instead of being with what was lost?
What celebration feels overdue in my life?
What grief am I ready to stop hiding?
A Sacred Closing
Grief is not a detour. Celebration is not a luxury. Together, they form the breath and body of liberation.
You are not behind because you’re feeling things deeply.
You are not broken because you cried over spilled coffee or a lost connection.
You are not too much for needing ceremony around change.
You are human. You are healing. You are here.
And in this community, we hold all of it.
An Invitation to Go Deeper With Us
Mondays are always free because this work belongs to all of us.
But if today’s companion piece resonated with you—if it stirred something tender, or named something true—I’d love to invite you to join us on the inside.
Paid subscribers receive the full 100 Days of Community archive, daily lessons beyond Monday, and access to everything we’re building in the movement toward sustainable liberation.
This isn’t about content. It’s about community.
And if finances are a barrier, please don’t count yourself out.
We’ve got equity-centered scholarships available—just email:
Scholarships@DesireeBStephens.com
You deserve to be here.
We’re building something sacred—and there’s a seat for you.
We continue tomorrow with Day 89: The Role of Hope in Sustaining Liberation.
But today, rest in the fullness of your humanity. let’s honor what we’ve lost, what we’ve won, and everything in between. You are not too much. You are not too late. You are here. And I am so glad.
In solidarity and liberation,
Desireé B. Stephens
Educator | Counselor | Community Builder
Founder, Make Shi(f)t Happen
Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.
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