This writing came at the perfect time. I have a conversation with a family member in a couple of days that’s going to be challenging. I’m gonna reread this right before.
When you were describing the violence of “proper English,” I had a visceral memory of being scolded harshly for incorrect grammar as a child. My body remembers how it felt like my whole being was bad and wrong, not just my words.
An old, deep tension in me relaxed today, and connection-based language reminded me how to do that. Thank you.
This writing came at the perfect time. I have a conversation with a family member in a couple of days that’s going to be challenging. I’m gonna reread this right before.
When you were describing the violence of “proper English,” I had a visceral memory of being scolded harshly for incorrect grammar as a child. My body remembers how it felt like my whole being was bad and wrong, not just my words.
An old, deep tension in me relaxed today, and connection-based language reminded me how to do that. Thank you.
My very close and trusted friend shared this with me and I'm so grateful you exist and shared this
Fascinating post. Thankyou for once again showing us how colonization persists in the things we do and say. We hardly ever say what we mean!
I have also found the Gottman method lacking but couldn’t articulate why.
You have taught me so much! I want to learn more.