The way I needed to hear this today. We just received Max’s diagnosis (AudHD) and I have been struggling to put into words WHY the way we do things for our kids is so essential. It’s not just sticking to systems or routines, it’s providing them what they need first and the best chance at feeling safe and regulated each day. I’m
Not rigid about things because I’m a control freak- my brain just feels so overwhelmed when I don’t allow my ADHD to be accommodated first.
I will definitely follow up with you on that. Just wrapping our heads around all the different needs and how best to modify so I can easily give everyone what they need. I feel like Max’s diagnosis was only surprising to me because we already did so much to affirm and meet his needs I barely noticed. But we are all glad to know more about how our brains work and work together to find words to express what we need and how we can all help each other.
Thank you for sharing these beautiful examples of shifting in the home to foster freedom for the whole family. I've been working to make adjustments in our space since I self-identified as AuDHD. This framing of yours takes it to a whole other level that I'm looking forward to chewing on and integrating. Thank you, again!
Tactile systems use touch and texture to support executive functioning, emotional regulation, and memory. Physical contact helps anchor attention and reinforce habits. (For some)
Examples:
• A weighted blanket or compression vest that helps regulate overstimulation.
• A “grab basket” of fidget tools near the door to help with transitions (textures like soft velvet, silicone, or spiky rings).
• A textured mat at the sink or desk that cues: This is where we brush teeth or focus.
• Putting Velcro or bump dots on appliance buttons or containers so you can identify them by feel.
Physical Rhythms = Movement That Anchors
Physical rhythms are body-based routines that create structure through repetition, movement, and predictable patterns. These are especially helpful for folks with time-blindness or sensory-seeking needs because the body keeps the time when the brain can’t.
Examples:
• Morning rhythm: Wake → weighted blanket cuddle → bathroom → stretch → stand on balance board while brushing teeth.
• Using a song or playlist to guide task timing..e.g., “we clean the table during song #2.”
• Rocking, pacing, or bouncing (on a ball or trampoline) as part of your work or transition routine.
• Practicing “task choreography” where you set up movement paths through your home (i.e., lunch bin near the door, shoes by the cereal station) so transitions flow like muscle memory.
• Building in “move-and-reset” stations like a mini trampoline, crash pad, or yoga mat with visual cues nearby.
Why These Matter:
These systems offload the need to remember, perform, or mask by inviting the body into the routine. They’re not just “cute hacks” they’re scaffolds for liberation.
I hope this helps and happy to do a home walk through via video too ❤️
Thank you! I've been doing some of these without having a word for the process. I'm definitely going to try several of these, and also consider what else I can do in the same vein to improve the flow of daily life.
The first thing I do every day is start the coffee and feed the cats, so the coffeemaker is in the cabinet next to the catfood bin and dishes. The coffee and filters are in bins above the counter where I make the coffee.
My work pants, compression socks, and uniform shirts are all in one drawer.
I’m not going to lie…I have to revisit how I set systems up in my home. I realize that everything is based on my learning style not my Au 6 year old and 4 year old. Great read!
Good for you! This is what I mean by lead with curiosity and remain teachable. I love that you’re willing to readjust and make an affirming home for all
Thank you for pointing out divergence vs diversity. Lexicon is important to me and I feel empowered when I'm sure I'm using language that is in service of dismantling systems of power.
I LOVE this. I’ve been doing this my whole life, and even more so for AuDHD child. People just think I’m lazy, stubborn and spoilt. But I put MORE thought, creativity and effort into setting up my unconventional home the way that works for me, and for my child. I’m not asking for anything from anyone (in fact most of it is BECAUSE I don’t like asking things of others) but acceptance. And I constantly have to justify and defend our ways and all our mistakes and missteps are soundly blamed on my ‘pandering’ instead of applauded for effort and brilliance in keeping the impact of our disabilities on ourselves and others to an absolute minimum in novel and creative ways. It all requires MORE effort. Not less. And where it may appear to require less effort, it either required significantly more upfront or the effort saved goes invisibly somewhere else where NT’s don’t need to make any at all. I have always called it setting us up for success. And why would you not, when you easily could? Now THAT’S lazy thinking, stubborn parenting and spoiled adults.
I'm just learning to understand my ADHD at 62. My daughter with ADHD is helping with that. We both struggle to organize our stuff, mostly art supplies and objects. This is a wonderful article and very helpful in learning how to manage the day to day.
The way I needed to hear this today. We just received Max’s diagnosis (AudHD) and I have been struggling to put into words WHY the way we do things for our kids is so essential. It’s not just sticking to systems or routines, it’s providing them what they need first and the best chance at feeling safe and regulated each day. I’m
Not rigid about things because I’m a control freak- my brain just feels so overwhelmed when I don’t allow my ADHD to be accommodated first.
this really hit home and felt validating ❤️
Please let me know if I can help or support the home flowing better I will scoot right on over.
I feel you I am this way because my brain needs it to work and show up the best version of myself
I will definitely follow up with you on that. Just wrapping our heads around all the different needs and how best to modify so I can easily give everyone what they need. I feel like Max’s diagnosis was only surprising to me because we already did so much to affirm and meet his needs I barely noticed. But we are all glad to know more about how our brains work and work together to find words to express what we need and how we can all help each other.
As usual you are saying so so many things I deeply needed to hear. I want to make a space where I can thrive, not just be useful to capitalism.
Yessssss! I deeply support this and want that for us all. We are worthy of so much more
Thank you for sharing these beautiful examples of shifting in the home to foster freedom for the whole family. I've been working to make adjustments in our space since I self-identified as AuDHD. This framing of yours takes it to a whole other level that I'm looking forward to chewing on and integrating. Thank you, again!
Ooooo yes indeed. I want to celebrate you naming and claiming your whole true self, and here for you supporting your needs
What are tactile systems and physical rhythms? Please be more specific. My AuDHD brain needs examples. Otherwise it's just jargon.
Absolutely! Thanks for asking.
Let’s break that down:
Tactile Systems = Things You Can Feel to Function
Tactile systems use touch and texture to support executive functioning, emotional regulation, and memory. Physical contact helps anchor attention and reinforce habits. (For some)
Examples:
• A weighted blanket or compression vest that helps regulate overstimulation.
• A “grab basket” of fidget tools near the door to help with transitions (textures like soft velvet, silicone, or spiky rings).
• A textured mat at the sink or desk that cues: This is where we brush teeth or focus.
• Putting Velcro or bump dots on appliance buttons or containers so you can identify them by feel.
Physical Rhythms = Movement That Anchors
Physical rhythms are body-based routines that create structure through repetition, movement, and predictable patterns. These are especially helpful for folks with time-blindness or sensory-seeking needs because the body keeps the time when the brain can’t.
Examples:
• Morning rhythm: Wake → weighted blanket cuddle → bathroom → stretch → stand on balance board while brushing teeth.
• Using a song or playlist to guide task timing..e.g., “we clean the table during song #2.”
• Rocking, pacing, or bouncing (on a ball or trampoline) as part of your work or transition routine.
• Practicing “task choreography” where you set up movement paths through your home (i.e., lunch bin near the door, shoes by the cereal station) so transitions flow like muscle memory.
• Building in “move-and-reset” stations like a mini trampoline, crash pad, or yoga mat with visual cues nearby.
Why These Matter:
These systems offload the need to remember, perform, or mask by inviting the body into the routine. They’re not just “cute hacks” they’re scaffolds for liberation.
I hope this helps and happy to do a home walk through via video too ❤️
Thank you! I've been doing some of these without having a word for the process. I'm definitely going to try several of these, and also consider what else I can do in the same vein to improve the flow of daily life.
Keep me posted, I love idea swaps and expanding on what works
The first thing I do every day is start the coffee and feed the cats, so the coffeemaker is in the cabinet next to the catfood bin and dishes. The coffee and filters are in bins above the counter where I make the coffee.
My work pants, compression socks, and uniform shirts are all in one drawer.
I’m not going to lie…I have to revisit how I set systems up in my home. I realize that everything is based on my learning style not my Au 6 year old and 4 year old. Great read!
Good for you! This is what I mean by lead with curiosity and remain teachable. I love that you’re willing to readjust and make an affirming home for all
I am LOVING the crockpot today’s meals are already done! ☑️
Thank you for pointing out divergence vs diversity. Lexicon is important to me and I feel empowered when I'm sure I'm using language that is in service of dismantling systems of power.
I LOVE this. I’ve been doing this my whole life, and even more so for AuDHD child. People just think I’m lazy, stubborn and spoilt. But I put MORE thought, creativity and effort into setting up my unconventional home the way that works for me, and for my child. I’m not asking for anything from anyone (in fact most of it is BECAUSE I don’t like asking things of others) but acceptance. And I constantly have to justify and defend our ways and all our mistakes and missteps are soundly blamed on my ‘pandering’ instead of applauded for effort and brilliance in keeping the impact of our disabilities on ourselves and others to an absolute minimum in novel and creative ways. It all requires MORE effort. Not less. And where it may appear to require less effort, it either required significantly more upfront or the effort saved goes invisibly somewhere else where NT’s don’t need to make any at all. I have always called it setting us up for success. And why would you not, when you easily could? Now THAT’S lazy thinking, stubborn parenting and spoiled adults.
This is incredible. Thank you🙏🏼
I'm just learning to understand my ADHD at 62. My daughter with ADHD is helping with that. We both struggle to organize our stuff, mostly art supplies and objects. This is a wonderful article and very helpful in learning how to manage the day to day.