Season of Self: Embodying Alignment
Rediscovering the Power of Care and Routine to Resist Supremacy Culture
In the last article of this series, Season of Self: Returning to Alignment, we explored the idea of stepping away from the relentless demands of supremacy culture and reconnecting with our values. We reflected on the ways alignment begins within—through rest, introspection, and dismantling the internalized systems that keep us disconnected.
Building on that foundation, this next step in the Season of Self invites us to embody alignment. What does it look like to live in alignment with your values in a world that often demands the opposite? How can we sustain ourselves and our communities while navigating ongoing harm?
My Own Journey
In this season of self, I’ve come to realize something about myself that has reshaped the way I think about care and liberation: as much as I resist routine as it’s defined by supremacy culture, I crave it. I need it. Not the rigid, productivity-driven routines that demand we squeeze every ounce of energy into measurable outputs, but routines that nourish me—that honor my humanity and hold space for my well-being.
This realization didn’t come easily. I live in a beautifully chaotic neurodivergent home. I was diagnosed with ADHD back in the 80s when it was still largely misunderstood. Now, I’m raising three children—two AuDHD, one ADHD—and fostering my great-nephew, who, at almost three years old, is showing clear signs of being ADHD. Add to that the extended school breaks, inclement weather, and my 12-year-old’s unschooling journey, and my house has been anything but quiet or structured.
On top of it all, I’m now 16 days smoke-free. Quitting meant I had to reimagine my routines completely. Cigarettes once offered me a moment of pause, a way to cope with stress, a ritual that felt like mine alone. But as much as I loved the comfort they brought, they were killing me. Addiction is like that—it gives you solace while stealing your vitality. And isn’t that the same dichotomy supremacy culture thrives on? Offering fleeting rewards while draining our humanity?
Living in Alignment: The Practice of Centering Care
This season has forced me to pause and ask: What does it mean to live in alignment with my values while navigating the relentless demands of supremacy culture? How do I sustain myself, my family, and my community in the face of ongoing harm?
Alignment isn’t just about knowing your values; it’s about embodying them in how you live, care for yourself, and show up for others. This work isn’t easy, especially in a world that thrives on disconnection—from ourselves, each other, and the earth. But centering care—for ourselves, for others, and for the planet—offers a powerful way to resist these systems and reclaim our humanity.
Finding Routine in Chaos
In my own life, I’ve had to find routines that feel nourishing rather than oppressive. Waking up earlier has allowed me to have time to write and reflect before starting the whirlwind of shuffling three bodies out the door. Switching from coffee to tea has become a small ritual of care. I haven’t yet returned to my backyard cottage office, but I’ve carved out space for myself within the chaos of my home.
This wasn’t about adding more to my plate or following rigid schedules. It was about creating rituals that remind me I matter—that my care is a foundation, not an afterthought.
Addiction and Supremacy Culture: A Parallel
Addictions, whether to substances or systems, are tricky things. They make you love the very thing that harms you, offering comfort while quietly dismantling your health, your peace, and your potential. Supremacy culture operates in much the same way. It teaches us to find solace in overwork, perfectionism, and individualism. It rewards us with fleeting moments of recognition or accomplishment while draining our humanity and disconnecting us from what truly matters.
Breaking free from these cycles—whether it’s quitting smoking or unlearning internalized narratives—is a radical act of care. It’s saying: I deserve better. We deserve better.
Centering Care as Resistance
Let’s explore what it looks like to center care as a foundation for liberation:
Care for Yourself
Supremacy culture demands we put everything and everyone else before ourselves, framing self-care as indulgent. But tending to yourself is a radical act of resistance. It allows you to show up whole.Practice: Redefine routine as nourishment. Create rituals that feel freeing rather than restrictive—stretching, a quiet moment, or a cup of tea.
Reflection: What would a routine that prioritizes your humanity look like?
Care for Each Other
Supremacy culture isolates us. Liberation thrives in connection. Building relationships rooted in care is essential to dismantling harmful systems.Practice: Reach out to your community. Share resources, celebrate collective wins, and show up for each other in consistent ways.
Reflection: How can you deepen your connections with those around you?
Care for the Earth
Supremacy culture severs our relationship with nature, treating it as a resource. Reconnecting with the earth offers balance and renewal.Practice: Spend time in nature without an agenda. Observe the seasons and let them guide your rhythms.
Reflection: What lessons can you take from nature about care, rest, and renewal?
Acknowledging the Complexity of Embodiment
Embodying alignment doesn’t mean every day will feel balanced or easy. It means moving with intention, even in the messiness, and allowing yourself grace in the process. For parents and caregivers, this is especially complex. Here are some ways to nurture your needs amidst caregiving demands:
Involve your kids in your routines: Share mindfulness practices or invite them into activities that ground you.
Micro-moments of care: Even a 2-minute pause to breathe while the kids are playing or resting can be grounding.
Flexible routines: Allow routines to evolve with your family’s needs, letting go of rigidity while maintaining a sense of rhythm.
Celebrate Progress
Each moment of alignment, each act of care, each step away from the grind is a victory. Celebrate the ways you’re embodying alignment, no matter how small. These are the seeds of a liberated future.
This time in natures cycle reminds us that growth and rest are not opposites—they are part of the same cycle. When we observe how the earth regenerates without rushing, we’re reminded that our own healing and alignment don’t need to follow a hurried timeline. Nature teaches us to honor the pace of growth, to pause when needed, and to trust in the rhythms of life.
Invitation to Reflect and Act
As we move deeper into this Season of Self, I invite you to not only reflect but also act. Let this be a season where you step away from the grind of supremacy culture and into the rhythms of care and alignment.
To continue this conversation, join me for a live Lunch and Liberation talk (Date TBD, based on children’s schedule) exclusively for paid subscribers. If you’re not a paid subscriber, now is the perfect time to join. If financial accessibility is a barrier, email scholarships@desireebstephens.com to inquire about scholarships.
Together, we’ll explore how centering care dismantles the pillars of supremacy culture and how to create practices and relationships that sustain both personal and collective wholeness.
Let’s keep planting the seeds for a liberated future—together.
In solidarity and liberation,
Desireé B. Stephens
Educator | Counselor | Community Builder
Founder, Make Shi(f)t Happen
There is so much here, I saved it to refer to over the next few weeks. I do not have the chaotic home, challenges of neurodivergency or even a smoking habit to overcome, but the chaos in my mind from the world we live in can just be overwhelming at times. Thank you so much for what you’re contributing on this platform. It’s beautiful and brilliant.
Beautiful. Thank you. The seasons of self posts have really reinforced the importance of positive habits for me. It's also reminded me that the rumblings in the back of my mind of guilt and not-enoughness are not my own but from a broken system. What a super supportive reminder!